Colleen 🥲

Gaslighting is a really effective way to get over a lifting plateau

This is actually a hospital job listing

You know the symphony is gonna eat when they roll out the harpsichord

Doing an angel tree and one of the requests is for a baby doll. Is there a specific doll 3 year olds want??

can't stop reading it as enterochromuffin

Being weighed at the doctor’s office is a war crime actually

i'm being forced to learn about nephrons against my will. how many times will these fuckers secrete and reabsorb something??? CHOOSE BITCH

mire poix slurry time

I got shrimp shamed at work

Someone on eastern time told me they could do a call “early in the morning” tomorrow and I am highly concerned about the implication

This whole time I thought Sam Altman was the hedge fund dude in jail just running an ai firm from prison, which felt very plausible

making peace with the fact that if there's a bunch of pleural/pulmonary pressures on this next test I'm missing all of em

Our manager sent his resignation email and people are hearting it in outlook lol

I’m like this all the time

GG are the only words of affirmation I need

The north ave bridge traffic is so disgusting damn never going east again

Some days I’m massively transfusing a fresh ecmo and sometimes I’m counseling patients to stop putting so much faith in their farts (I am tired of cleaning skid marks)

My derm pa spoke evil into this world when she said she couldn’t see a single blemish on my face

code blue code behavior combo page

The cardiomems rep brought the implant to show us and she didn’t seem to like it when I said it looked like an iud for the heart

FYI the newest nurses in the hospital were a born a year after 9/11

“Science-based gooning”

Damn ysera’s death still hits

I asked her to watch my patients once so I could poop in peace

the amount of ads and suggested content I see on youtube that includes just straight up porn is kinda fucked up??

I have foot cramps constantly at home but in Japan I had zero which I think means I’m physically dependent on soba noodles. Can I get a doctor’s note or special vest

I had a 40 oz of beer every day for lunch 😭

I will not miss heated seats on public toilets or bikes on the sidewalk

I will miss stopping at family mart for my nightly fami chiki and beer bedtime snack 🥺