David Astle (alias DA)

Speed caution sign with a 5 circled in red, followed by “EXTREMELY SLOW CHILDREN PLAYING.”

♫ 12 drummers drumming
♫ 11 pipers piping
♫ 10 lords a-leaping
♫ 9 ladies dancing
♫ 8 maids a-milking
♫ 7 swans a-swimming
♫ 6 geese a-laying
♫

Gargoyles, grotesques, and corbels reading books are my favorites.

Please join my campaign to change the past tense of “sneeze” to “snoze”.

Ducks in a row? Check
Cats in a herd? Still on it

*Pronounces alpha male like tamale

I'm from a little town called Bethlehem, you've probably never harked of it

ME [arriving for my eye exam]: is this the right place

GUY BEHIND THE DELI COUNTER: no

Any non-standard item you use INSTEAD of a toothpick to dig out leftover food is called DENTAL FLOTSAM

Heard a fabulous malaprop this week: The Shrine Of Resemblance

(beware of imitations)

Just wanted to say good evening to all the steamroller drivers out there.

Long story short, once upon the end

My Spotify Listening Age is 765

When you're super into lute solos

It's almost Christmas people. For the love of God, let's put a pause on reaching out, touching base, circling back, drilling down and deep diving

People who use the wrong word have my full symphony

🏆

Wow.

Citizen Kandy Kane - 👏

Yule-ify a film title

The Bourne Nativity
Nightmare on Elf Street
Das Santa Boot
Frosty/Nixon
Pulpit Fiction
Buy Hard
Hoho Rabbit
Reindeer Hunter
Life of Mince Pie
He’s Just Not That Into Yule
Silent Night of the Living Dead

All my BlueSky blather is in the cloud. Thanks @matterofstats.bsky.social

Wow. Thanks Tony. What a cool toy

the word "mon·o·syl·lab·ic" has betrayed us

A person sits in a subway car, dressed as a Christmas tree.

I can’t believe that in this day and age, people are still wearing fir.

My cat, an idiot: Those ornaments look exactly like my toys. Why can’t I play with them?

Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord

SHIT - you can lose it, know it, stir it, cut it, shovel it, shoot it, be in it, have it for brains, get it together, not give it, be full of it. Because it happens

Road sign for 'Skirmish Paintball'

How delightfully quaint some of these old Devon village names are, their etymologies lost in the mists of time.

Breaking: Jeffrey Archer awarded FIFA Prize For Literature

“The only thing that you absolutely have to know is the location of the library.”

- Albert Einstein

We are phasing out the terms “extant” and “extinct” from our exhibits and will now refer to species as either “Darwinners" or “Darlosers.”

Amazon, please stop asking me if books I bought month ago met my expectations. I still have unread books I bought in 2012. Be real.

Show me a stranger painting I dare you. This is Susan’s unique ABC treasure found adrift on eBay