Richard Nixon Mask

Cyberstuck

WE SAT DOWN FOR DINNER AND WE'VE GOT DINNER AND A SHOW HAHAHAHAHAHA

I am not ‘doing a bit’ I am being strummed like a lyre by the universe

I always thought it was the "I don't want to drink alcohol but also don't want to stick out" drink

Feeling like a big dumbass working on my taxes right now. Who am I sending this money to

The question of if a country could fuck itself harder than the UK did with Brexit has today been answered.

It's 200 guys

I can’t compete with this

Tweet from @dril with an edit. Original says: “Food $200 Data $150 Rent $800 Candles $3,600 Utility $150 someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying” The edit is that the candles line is crossed out and replaced with “Tariffs: $6 trillion”

Here’s the thing about the tariffs: there will be no “short term pain”. Only long term. Every time a company realizes they can get away with charging you extra they don’t ever lower the price again. They just gouge. Whatever price hikes there are will be here for good.

No DEI? Fall outta the sky.

"The collapse of society will be a good thing, because the weak will die and strong people like me will survive and prosper" says man who experienced a complete breakdown from which he never recovered because he couldn't go to Home Depot and BW3 for a couple weeks in 2020.

There are moments in these deportation fights when I can just FEEL how pissed off they are that I’m Puerto Rican 😂 they want to threaten me with it so bad 😂

Marco Rubio with one of his bosses Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov in Saudi Arabia.

A parking lot showing a cybertruck in one spot, next to a car that has built a cybertruck-esque shell around it out of green plastic. It's really hard to describe exactly how silly this vehicle looks next to the green car.

In my city there is one cybertruck and one DIY parody of a cybertruck and the parody truck has become a local celebrity. Meanwhile, I always wish I had some rotten eggs to throw at the tesla whenever I see it.

What in the David Brooks is happening here

This sounds like a David Brooks Original™️

i need a 52 year old man with $800 billion to impregnate my wife . i am worried our offspring wont be sufficiently feeble and/or annoying

70 year old guy gets a 25 year old gf and the ignorant masses say she only wants him for his money. These people have never known the simple pleasure of extremely old balls

I feel like I'm going insane every time I see a media story about DOGE that doesn't also mention the fact that the Government Accountability Office exists and performs the exact function that DOGE pretends to, only in a credibly constitutional, non-partisan, and conflict-of-interest-free manner

i got surgery to become a servile 3 1/2 foot tall man so bar stool media will hire me to carry chicken wings around the office on a platter

Sometimes people just watch tv wrong

My favorite line from this episode

film still #49

the funeral.

#severance

When I write my autobiography, there’s going to be an entire chapter about how this post broke me in ways that I still haven’t fully processed. It haunts me like flashes from a nightmare that I just can’t seem to shake…

Why would you make your narrator unreliable. I trusted you and purchased this book and this is how you repay me

That tennis superstar lady from Compton crip walking to a song about her ex who can’t keep her name out his mouth during the Super Bowl halftime show really made my whole week.

i majored in art, so analyzing superbowl performances is beneath me. instead, i use the thousands spent on education to walk into famous galleries and point out which artists were terrible people