Thérèse Elaine

Insomnia: Hello, lover.

Me: You again.

Insomnia: Remember in 6th grade when Suzy Roth waved to you and you waved back but she was really waving at Jenny Clark behind you?

Me: I see you’ve been checking the archives.

24.10.2023 09:37 — 👍 113    🔁 38    💬 3    📌 1

I save almost $2 per year by continuing to use deodorant sticks after the edges start gouging my armpits

18.10.2023 23:30 — 👍 370    🔁 102    💬 7    📌 0

did you know that every bag of dicks was traditionally hand sorted but due to increased automation in the industry a lot of dick baggers are facing stiff cutbacks? negotiations continue but with both sides holding firm the situation feels rigid and inflexible

22.10.2023 17:28 — 👍 33    🔁 17    💬 3    📌 1

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but with me wearing athleisure

22.10.2023 19:42 — 👍 155    🔁 55    💬 5    📌 1

My mother was never this supportive of me...

19.10.2023 19:16 — 👍 6    🔁 1    💬 0    📌 0

Why do people say “Christ on a cracker?” I’ve only been to Catholic Church once and even I know that Christ IS the cracker

18.10.2023 01:44 — 👍 47    🔁 14    💬 5    📌 0

Shark vs Narwhal in epic oceanic dual for the ages

How I envision every fight, disagreement, petty spat, duels or other honor-based challenges, dick-offs, public debates, God v Satan variants, and family disputes...

18.10.2023 23:20 — 👍 7    🔁 3    💬 0    📌 0

Locked and loaded...

29.09.2023 13:35 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0