👻🔪 ˚ʚₖᵢᵣₐɞ˚

Me after loudly farting in line at the dmv

women only want one thing (to live deliciously)

I'm sorry for what I said every time I've opened my mouth.

reminder to check your kid’s trick or treat candy this year to make sure there isn’t any ai in it

They do look like CinnaButtholes

“a rising tide lifts all boats” oh you mean like in a tsunami

Yea 😭 I couldn't listen to their music for the longest time.. and now they mfing replaced him with a new singer and it pisses me off. They should've changed their name at the least.

Quote skeet this post with someone you wish was still alive

practicing quiet queefing so i don’t disrupt this christening

Oh man that doc is so sad

Hachi: A Dog's Tale

Knowing its a true story kills me

If you can steal a scarf away from Johnny Depp he has to grant you one wish.

Thanks for the heads up, bestie 🫶

Remember to unclench your buttcheeks besties

(my buns are sore)

Man, I haven't had mushrooms in so long I forgot how much I love them. I like peeling the skin off of them like a psychopath.

I wonder if my wrists wouldn't hurt so much after chopping vegetables if I wasn't using an oldass, dull knife from the 80s 🤔

A vote No on 50 sign vandalized to say vote Yes on 50.

Saw this in my city, lol.

You guys get big accounts following you? 👁👄👁

I did a lot of weird today lol

Needs little hat and it'd be 👌

It was very jarring turning it on and seeing this naked lil guy standing there all 👁👄👁

I get the feeling it wants to beat me up for my lunch money

Frog on pink cake that reads Dream big , fart loud

💨

Know who else misses regular show?

Mother flipping PEAS 🫛 🦆

That was always my brother 👎

what do you do, pick it up with your bare hands? don’t be gross, los

If I had laser hair, I sure wouldn’t want it removed. I’d be so psyched.