lmao getting fact checked irl

A 2br/2ba is out of my budget so I guess I'll just buy a fuckload of candy and gum

As a society we NEED to domesticate raccoons. I bet there’s some other stuff we need to figure out too but this seems the most pressing. To me

i need a 52 year old man with $800 billion to impregnate my wife . i am worried our offspring wont be sufficiently feeble and/or annoying

Tate McRae has released the music video for “Sports car.”

Watch: youtu.be/7InTkBxPtK4?...

Mountain Dew would be such a good name for a face cream if it wasn’t already taken

WWNBD (what would night bitch do?)

do not eat the clam chowder

RIP

You are not alone the shingles virus is dormant inside you

Lots of clarity today

It was really really hard growing up in a family that freezes bread

Sometimes the universe rewards you for judging a book by its cover

Really intense eye contact either means someone is trying to kill you or someone is trying to have sex with you but what they don’t tell you is sometimes it means both!

this being Clairo shade

Thankful that Apple Music only knows a little about me

I have a horrible little mustache and the sunk cost fallacy is preventing me from ever shaving it 😔

Can’t decide if I want to go on a run or eat cheese