The New World Otter

All these algorithms need to learn the difference between me reading a post and me stopping scrolling to take a bite of cereal.

BANANA POEM

Bananas are yellow
A tasty tube fruit
Yummy and boneless
In a tight yellow suit

Bananas with ice cream
Make my heart flutter
Elvis put them in sammies
With smooth peanut butter

They're healthy and filling
And favoured by monkeys
But eat em right quick
Or they get brown and funky

*stares at the dirty pile in the sink*

I guess I'm out of spoons, literally and figuratively.

There's a person whose job it is to blur out crotches and boobs on Naked and Afraid. Hours of them. I think about that sometimes.

Murder, She Spelled Out With Magnets On the Refrigerator

One way to get Trump off this Greenland kick is to remind him that it's above the 36°30′ latitude line; and, per the Missouri Compromise, it can only be admitted to the Union as a free state.

they just spent 12 months deporting anyone who looks foreign and then kidnapped an entire south american country

trump as big brother saying "we have always been at war with venezulombia"

Marco Rubio is reportedly saying Maduro will stand trial in US courts.

Which means it’s now the US administration’s position that US courts can hold foreign presidents, but not the US president, accountable for crimes.

Jan 3, 2026, 8am. Dear diary:

Finished my usual Saturday egg bagel with butter. A nice cup of blueberry-hibiscus tea.

WWIII kicked off 4 hours ago.

Brewing decaf chai now; washing work clothes, so I’m not naked for tomorrow’s 10-hour retail shift.

The blue jay is in the tree next door. 🥰

Fun fact - The Epstein files ARE SO BAD that Trump has…

Bombed Nigeria
Bombed Venezuela
Kidnapped a head of state
Threatened Greenland
Threatened Iran
Backed Russia

All in the last few weeks.

nwot.bsky.social's Bluesky Wrapped 2025 Check out nwot.bsky.social's year on Bluesky!

This year on Bluesky I wrote 321 posts and 97 replies. I received 459 likes, whereas 17 was from my most popular post, and apparently I love saying "its" and ⬜!
www.madebyolof.com/bluesky-wrap...

#blueskywrapped #bskywrapped #gottaupmynumbers

Chaos it is then 🤺

Chaos it is then 🤺

a man with a beard and a black shirt is sitting in a dark room and says `` not amused '' . ALT: a man with a beard and a black shirt is sitting in a dark room and says `` not amused '' .

Happy New Year.

THERE. I said it & I really mean it, even though the odds are it will be every bit as challenging & frustrating as the last one.

2025 restrained like Hannibal Lector

Don't make eye contact...

No more fooling around...

Stand up.

Square your shoulders and confidently proclaim:

“2026 is going to be a year!”

at the end of the day i still have a dope ass blanket with cats on it so i win no matter what

Have you ever seen an albino otter before? Neither that or Steve has a REALLY bad hangover...

You ever get the feeling people have started eating lead paint chips recreationally?

Happy Holiday-Message-From-That-Email-Newsletter-You-Forgot-You-Signed-Up-For Day.

Web browser spellchecker out here forcing me to learn how to spell...

How do you get pancreatitis, partisan, and paranpartisan from parmasean [parmesan]?

heavily redacted peanuts

What the absolute [expletive] was that?!?

There are two sides to every coin. Three if there's a minting error.

And why are you even shopping for a vehicle?

You have a sled that defies the laws of physics, powered by sugar cookies and caribou droppings.

What's with Santa in car commercials asking if it comes in red.

It's a car, of course it comes in red.

You know the moral compass of everyone on earth and a network of miniscule spies to back you up - but you can't Google the dealership?

BREAKING: The House of Representatives just passed a bill that would subject immigrant children to invasive bodily searches and keep them in detention instead of releasing them to their families.

The Senate must vote no on this horrific bill.