Paused Mortem 💀

My glasses aren't sitting right so I am going to go see a guy about rearranging my face.

What the shit is that?

Is apparently not how you greet someone with free coffee.

I know this now.

If only there were a way to make loads of money that didn't involve being born from a rich family

With all the advancements in technology, you'd think someone would've come up with a better printer.

Trying out a new dating app and I barely want to stab myself in the eye. It's a good sign, I think.

What a good day to have a bad day.

If you’re Medusa, you never have to worry about coffee breath.

Gonna start ending my sentences with “…and all that jizz” just to make people wonder

If I was a xenomorph, I would use my tongue responsibly

Imagine my disappointment when I opened my eyes today.

my brain belongs in the baked goods aisle

waking and disassociating

Wednesday? Again?

Fine.

Really not here to read the news.

Seriously.

If we all just lined up & held hands, we could drown a lot of folks.

Just because I agree with you, doesnt mean I want to talk about it.

Without downloading any new pics, spontaneously combust

Coping mechanism is a fancy term for bed.

Awww that's cute. Wanna know what altered my brain chemistry? Trauma, bitch. Trauma altered my brain chemistry.

Surround yourself with people who wanna surround you, you self-absorbed dipshit.

Body horror: having a body

my online persona is very much like my real life persona
terrifying I know

The older I get, the older I get.

Let’s all pretend to be functional together.

Sorry I gave you a throat chop when you told me to have a nice day.

Chlorine would be a great girl's name.

If I ever go missing, thank fuck.

Ooh I'm awake again. It's so cool being awake again.

Thinking about redistricting my taint region so my balls aren't always blue

meditating for mental calm but serendipitously spacing out