Paused Mortem 💀

Good lord, everything is so good I'm gonna cry.

How am I supposed to finish work when everything is a bop though? 😭

in case y'all have never been told, i'm a feature not a bug

Searching for productive ways to make it all go away

an elderly woman wearing a yellow raincoat and glasses is laughing and pointing at the camera . ALT: an elderly woman wearing a yellow raincoat and glasses is laughing and pointing at the camera .

He's so real.

It's a Green Day sunday, yes.

There's a certain level of self-entitled you can only be pulling out of a church or a Chick-fil-A.

People stepping out of church with renewed superiority complex.

A dingy heart left roiling in a barrel of bugs.

Boogers.

The older I get, the more my brain feels like it was stirred with a fork.

can't. practicing witchcraft

So tell me about yourself. Okay, that's enough.

I wish I was the person I was when I packed my lunch this morning.

My internet randomly going full on bullet train. Their new intern must've pushed the wrong button.

Final destination..Death by bidet. Heated toilet seat edition.

The sky scrapes on by.

I apparently require music when I poop now. Sorry, Hozier, but it's your turn.

Going with the flow makes a mangled existence.

I enjoy solitude and being alone..if I had a dating bio.

ask your doctor if dissociation could be right for you

The doom, the gloom, waiting for the boom.

there's no shortage of reasons why people disgust me. usually has nothing to do with them

I think we can all admit my plan to live for all eternity is going well, no failures so far

I like my men like I like people in general, the fuck away from me

Btw... your listing agent's awful

Animé fanboys simping for the trans girl character. I know that's right.

Started reading an archeological thriller. Is it aliens? I hope it's aliens.