areyoukiddingme

Mitch McConnell falls on his way to voting in Senate Senator Mitch McConnell, 83, fell today.

BREAKING: Mitch McConnell falls on his way to voting in Senate
aykm.substack.com/p/mitch-mcco...

Local man yells at TV for 3 hours, claims partial credit for team’s win Insists his strategic yelling influenced key plays

Local man yells at TV for 3 hours, claims partial credit for team’s win
aykm.substack.com/p/local-man-...

Bananajamma drops new album Best known for dressing up like bananas

Bananajamma drops new album
aykm.substack.com/p/bananajamm...

Why I believe the local news anchor is sending me subliminal messages I’m not as a conspiracy theorist, just a concerned citizen

Why I believe the local news anchor is sending me subliminal messages
aykm.substack.com/p/local-news...

Local man achieves inner peace after deleting 47 unread emails He has since deleted the Gmail app from his phone

Local man achieves inner peace after deleting 47 unread emails
aykm.substack.com/p/local-man-...

Fallon wondering why he not being canceled Tonight Show host wondering why he can’t get cancelled

Fallon wondering why he not being canceled
aykm.substack.com/p/fallon-won...

Meditation app now includes feature that just screams into the void for you App reports a 300% increase in downloads

Meditation app now includes feature that just screams into the void for you
aykm.substack.com/p/meditation...

Waitress: how do you take your coffee
Me, A Bluesky Idiot: with my hand

trying to even out the strings on my hoodie: a memoir

Woody Allen's first name is actually short for Wooden

i dont hate acronyms i just hate what they stand for

Triglycerides were among the most unhealthy of the dinosaurs.

12 Things in Your House That Are Definitely Plotting Against You You thought your home was a sanctuary.

12 Things in Your House That Are Definitely Plotting Against You
aykm.substack.com/p/12-things-...

Stadium introduces ‘emotional support mascots’ for fans of perpetually losing teams Each mascot is paired with a fan

Stadium introduces ‘emotional support mascots’ for fans of perpetually losing teams
aykm.substack.com/p/stadium-em...

I saw a teenager smile and frankly, I’m terrified By Harold J. Whitman

I saw a teenager smile and frankly, I’m terrified
aykm.substack.com/p/i-saw-teen...

What do you think of the current immigration situation? What is happening with our borders?

What do you think of the current immigration situation?
aykm.substack.com/p/viewpoints...

Marvel announces 10-year plan for movies no one asked for Fans were visibly overwhelmed.

Marvel announces 10-year plan for movies no one asked for
aykm.substack.com/p/marvel-ann...

MLB game delayed after pitcher refuses to throw until Mercury is in retrograde “I’m not risking my ERA while the cosmos are stable.”

MLB game delayed after pitcher refuses to throw until Mercury is in retrograde
aykm.substack.com/p/mlb-game-d...

the lawn is the beard of the house

NSFW
EVERYONE: not safe for work
ME: north south feast west

Monkey thinks he's ready to start dating again An area monkey has decided that he’s ready to get back out there and meet someone nice.

Snapshots: An area monkey has decided that he’s ready to get back out there and meet someone nice.
aykm.substack.com/p/monkey-thi...

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I have a meet and greet with a new co-worker tomorrow. Crap, I'm gonna have to figure out who I am by then.

[interview to be an undercover agent]

chief: janine, can you send in the next applicant

janine: yes chief- next!

[the large potted plant in the corner of the room stands up]

chief: janine, can you send home the remaining applicants

Relaxing Tea Better Fucking Work

Relaxing Tea Better Fucking Work
theonion.com/relaxin...

Grammy-winning pop star turns out to be entirely AI-generated Global pop sensation Zéphyr Blu is 100% AI-generated.

Grammy-winning pop star turns out to be entirely AI-generated
aykm.substack.com/p/grammy-win...

I like string cheese because it's like milk jerky

KIDS: are we there yet

ME: yes

THERE: yay

I get my followers the old-fashioned way. By being an idiot online.

Man breaks law of gravity Ben Johnson recently broke the law of gravity.

Man breaks law of gravity
aykm.substack.com/p/man-breaks...