Smashleigh

“Yes, yes, my brand new baby is on my chest and I’ve just been patched up after losing two litres of blood, I’m particularly hungry do you have it on wholegrain?”

For various reasons when I had my kid I hadn’t had a proper meal in three days and TO THIS DAY I have not had a finer sandwich than the one handed to me in the C-section recovery room

Hard agree: going to the airport to look at the planes was my favourite thing as a kid (parents/grandparents would literally just take me to arrivals and sit in a cafe while I gawped out the window) but now it’s all so identikit and boring

0mm today precipitation

We made it, lads 🥹

Then, once you’ve had one, if you decide to not have any more (or cannot have any more) they’ll ask when you’ll be having another. I have lost count of the number of times I’ve smiled expediently and said “I can’t improve on perfection” to a stranger while gesturing at my kid

I’m sorry to disappoint but my experience as a cis woman is that society is ALL TO READY to remind you of your biological reality every time you publicly interact with a baby from around age 17, and you are duty bound to fend them off until you’re good and ready to have one…

(In Korea it’s literally served alongside a lake of melted cheese. It’s HEAVEN)

Please invite her to google dak galbi recipes (and thank me for what comes to pass: your life will be forever altered)

U.K. might lose a prime minister because a guy who worked for him knew another guy who hung out with Epstein. Meanwhile the U.S. opposition party is telling our President, who was Epstein's best friend, that his secret police should get better training so their public street murders look less messy.

I hold the BBC (and Tom Rosenthal) entirely responsible for kid’s weirdest crush: Alfred the Great

The ticketmaster gods smiled upon my friend and I will therefore bear witness 🙌

Also: no surge pricing?! Actual reasonable non-VIP tickets?! Gobsmacked

They certainly do, Shrek

I have this feeling about 8 times a day

There’s NOTHING comforting about SUGAR RUSH and IS IT CAAAAAKE?!?!?!

For reasons I cannot fathom my 7yo is now *obsessed* with competitive cooking shows. Her Netflix account is just show after show of Americans baking cakes

Honestly Dave, I saw this yesterday and immediately jumped to the second conclusion

I distinctly remember, in February 2021, feeling a sense of absolute relief that I was no longer being held one inch in front of a blazing fire of NEWS every fucking day and my god having that American boot on the back on my skull again is making me bitter and fatigued

Thought this on Tuesday when I was in London. Baffling. Absolutely convinced that we should start referring to viagra as gender affirming care (because what else is it?) and the dial might start to shift a bit

🫡

For the meagre price of probably £1billion we can watch Namjoon’s breakdown in real time and provide an alibi for Yoongi when he finally snaps and kills a man (maybe)

Look it’s a long shot: anyone want to try for BTS tickets with me?

Look it’s a long shot: anyone want to try for BTS tickets with me?

THEY MADE THE BIG HERO SIX WINDMILLS OMG

Ate some of the two week old Christmas ham for lunch (it had been wrapped up, smelled fine) and. Well. Take my advice: don’t do that.

Huh, snow, a bit of rain and temperatures hovering around zero really does create an absolute shitshow cocktail for getting around. Just watched a van try to pull off my street and go precisely nowhere

Yes

This is gonna age like Kirk. Manifesting that whoever pulls the trigger will exude femininity

Helpfully he’s the only person permitted to manspread

I think it’s a limited edition 😢

Kim Jong Un slumped in a big comfy chair at the NY concert at the May Day stadium. The angle is not flattering. He is wearing his massive leather coat, and he is holding his daughter’s hand.

Kim Jong Un went to the New Year concert last night, and as you can see, he was overjoyed to be there.

“It’s just boom boom boom and you can’t even hear the words”
“Get with it daddy, you big square! Can’t you see it’s…”