Blonde Calamity (she/her) 🇨🇦

A DAY later, he slides into my DMs to ask ME out (tbh he does this on average every year or so, in case I change my mind I guess).

I should be insulted 😂😂😂

My tattoo artist DMd me to ask why an old acquaintance of mine was sliding into her DMs to talk to her/ask her out.

*sigh*

Dude is just out there embarrassing me, and I don’t even know him like that!

Men getting dragged around by their little to medium dogs give me the ick.

All I want is someone to finance my life of luxury travel and shopping. Is that too much to ask?

Who can afford to be funny, in this economy?!?

Maybe the t-rex was so mean because they could never hug the others.

I want to get a charcuterie and discuss Bravo takes with Seth Rogan.

If I was a liar I’d simply invest in flame retardant pants so no one would know.

A good portion of my life is spent on realtor, perusing luxury homes that I have absolutely no business looking at.

Heard on the news that schools are rife with misogyny. The fact that we felt much safer in the boys on the 90’s than girls do today is disturbing.

Men, please teach boys to be good men, because the men they’re currently listening to are monsters.

You make a fair point, Sir.

I love the entire scene. Boy strides over, the Cane Corso can’t get out of his way fast enough, at the same time the German Shepherd jumps up to alert the masses. LOL
It’s an entire story line.

Is 2:30pm considered too early to change into pyjamas?

I vote no.

Do Egyptians suffering from existential despair get ankhst?

A farrier is just a fancy term for a horse pedicurist

The hypocrisy of Eric Clapton admiring and being influenced by all Black artists, all while being a racist POS.

Old news, I know, but I’m still mad about it.

I was putting on my makeup at the mirror, and I heard a little girl outside yelling “BLOODY MARY…” she said it TWICE before I was able to hurdle the furniture and slam the patio door.
Talk about close calls!

So far this morning, I’ve seen a monarch butterfly, skipped rocks, saw a squirrel trying to befriend a man while he worked out at the beach and a raven out front of my house! It’s not even 11:00am!!

The Violent Femmes “Kiss Off” is my favorite song about counting to ten.

Thank you!!!

i deleted the Discover tab, you can too

The Inks

I hope you find what you're looking for.
I also hope you someday own an enchanted dagger that shines a light in the darkness, smites your enemies just as much as they deserve, and knows all the best burrito spots in town.

When offered a potion, you drink first and ask questions later. This might be your Disney origin story.

Thank you for looking out, Canada 💛 truly love our northern neighbors.

If you don't have a profile pic of some kind, you are sus. Literally use any picture at all. It is better than nothing.

When a woman asks, what are you thinking? That's a trick question. Shut up and ask her how she got so beautiful.

What's your favorite song about sucking on chili dogs? Mine is "Jack and Diane."

Sorry I haven't been posting as much but I've been feeling mentally well