jessa

MY GF NOT ONLY PICKED UP MY GARBAGE BUT ALSO A TOTE OF MY DIRTY DISHES AND SHE WASHED THEM FOR ME AND SHE ALSO BROUGHT ME LUNCH AT WORK AND HAD DINNER FOR ME AFTERWORK

THATS NOT A GF THATS A ***WIFE****
!!!!!!!!!

I always attract people whose love language is acts of service because I'm a needy bitch who can't do shit for herself :)

Basically what Mom & Dad said 👇🏾

it's so funny to hear someone so annoyed with their dog say "GO. POTTY."

like lmao you just said potty in an angry voice

I would never skimp at taco bell if I'm with a cutie

stoned, looking at my money accounts

me: WHy,en did I spend 23.80 at TACO BELL???

me: oh wait, it wS for my vaby..baby... nvm

OR that stupid auto highbeam setting???? I need that to STOP... I live on a road with dips so it ends up being a fucking strobe light

the way I turn my highbeams on when I encounter this..... if you're gonna have that shit, you should point your headlights down in a way that doesn't blind everyone else:)))))))))

I'm obsessed with her saying "go for it, babe"

I wonder what her sign is...

annoying my gf by trying to explain what being demisexual means to me...

"...like... I get to know someone & they become their personality... & then I think they're hot!!! but thinking someone is hot doesnt make me romantically interested in them..... & thats why it's ok for me to kiss my friends."

men hate me, autists love me, tal is annoyed by me

IM SO STOKED

I get it!!! I love cooking for other people & hate cooking for myself. I'm lazy & don't appreciate the things I make.

(but also I secretly know that she really hates making decisions & asked me so she could make a grocery list for next week)

crying because my gf asked what kinda dinners I'd like this week & earlier today she said she cares about her cooking now because she wants me to like it 😭😭😭💖💖💖

just spent almost $300 on a Christmas present for my cat..............

I've been looking at it for 2 years & I just got a raise so fuck ittttt

people point to my hands & say "cats?" to which to reply "just one... but she's as strong as ten"

I've only been eating chicken strips & fruit when I'm home... I have lettuce & could make a salad but I'm too lazy for a Third Thing

haven't had a proper hangout with my gf in 10 days & I'm starting to freak out (miss her)

all I've eaten today is chicken strips.... I've had 9... but I'm strongly considering making that 13

two whole days since I kissed my gf :(

I am very tired but also very happy rn

my addictive personality when I make new friends: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE! GIVE ME MORE FRIENDS! I WANT MORE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yall don't even know how high I get on friendship like I'm a lil freak when I make a new friend

I MADE FRIENDS TODAY

Flying Squirrel Loves It Every Time

Flying Squirrel Loves It Every Time

30 rock works because you're not supposed to like any of the characters!!
parks wants & needs you to love all the characters... and I did when I first watched it! but I wouldn't rewatch it now because I'm older & wiser.

out here worshipping the moon & doing my little ritual & then Tal runs outside as I open the door...
honestly extremely inconvenient... baby girl better come back soon cuz I'm not staying up all night & I'm not about to let her get got by coyotes

Tal's attitude just adds to the complexity of her character.

this girl was not written by a man... she writes her own story

the menu currently consists of:
- art/paint/markers/collages
- mushrooms
- some kind of chocolate dessert
- maybe a spooky movie??
- a lot of yapping
- maybe a bottle of 1800 coconut?
- tarot readings
- so so sooo much love