Admiral Snaccbar 🏳️‍🌈

Joined a private Facebook group last week but my application is still pending. I hope they didn’t find anything too damning in my background check.

wait, can I say something

I’ve seen clips on tiktok!

Finally, a hot pope

Mondays, amirite?

Photo of my husband and I wearing matching blue shirts

Twinsies

I’m 6’1” . I’ve always been told I hold the weight well or I don’t look as big as I actually am

Before and after picture of me. On the left me at 365 pounds, on the right me at 250 pounds, about a year apart.

Never want to go back to that

Noooo please don’t steal my session cookie.

[Doing a reverse psychology]
I actually don’t want to play Elder Scrolls 6 anymore

Having 30 pairs of cute shoes has done wonders for my mental health. Losing 120 pounds helped too, but let’s be honest the shoes are doing most of the work.

I can’t stay silent anymore. The Roseanne intro music is TOO sexy

She’s a leopard gecko!

Lemon having a refreshing drink

Any way we can speed up the timeline on that asteroid

I ordered a crossword puzzle book where you just have to find the word “cow” 20,000 times. I’ve never been more excited for anything in my life.

Damn JoJo Siwa wasn’t lying. Karma IS a bitch.

I can’t believe it’s already January 58th

A picture of me standing in my apartment, casually dressed, wearing a maroon t-shirt with the “Dr Pepper” logo, green pants, and red Vans with white laces. I have a full beard, glasses, and visible tattoos on my arms. (I look really fucking hot to be honest. Like if I wasn’t me and I was looking at this pic I’d be like “SMASH, Raw, no further questions. I am standing in front of a closed white door with my hands in my pockets (unlike Alanis Morissette who I’m told had one hand in her pocket).

Fit check

The picture shows a leopard gecko, Named Lemon basking inside her enclosure. She is partially hidden behind a piece of wood and is looking directly at the camera and winking. The enclosure has a dark background and some rocks and other decorations inside.

Look at her working the camera. I see you Lemon, I see you.

No you

stuffed alpaca dog toy wearing a colorful hat. The alpaca is light gray in color and has a soft, furry texture. Its face is gentle and its eyes are big and brown. The hat is made of a brightly colored fabric with geometric patterns. It covers the alpaca's head and ears. It’s sitting on the floor looking up at me. I’m very scared please help me.

What’s this guys problem

Next time I eat out I’m leaving a dozen eggs as a tip

The school nurse giving you a frozen piece of paper towel in a ziploc bag any time you hurt something was peak medicine in my opinion

A screenshot of a CNN article titled “Joann files for bankruptcy - again”

God damn CNN, leave her alone.

The office at my apartment complex has an alarm that sounds so extra you’d think they were hiding the Mona Lisa in there

Cutting a plastic soda ring so a sea turtle doesn’t get caught in it while a corporation dumps thousands of gallons of oil into the ocean: I am doing my part :)

Photo of my husband and me at a skating rink for our nieces bday party

Skating at nearly 40 years old is very humbling

Jimmy Carter dead at 100? Seems suspicious. Looking into this.

[watching a sex scene with my parents] You guys ever try that?