Dr. Butt

in an era when carnivore diet influencers are in charge of the american nuclear arsenal we have to admit the "annoying vegan" stereotype barely ever actually existed and the "all meat diet guy" is real, increasingly omnipresent, and way more annoying and inconvenient to actually be around

elon after making his thirteen gajillionth dollar

If America really had free speech the things I’d say about this piece of shit…

My parents are divorced so we have two January 6ths

huh… weird

text that reads: NOVEMBER — 2025 CLOUDFLARE IS DOWN ZOOM IS STILL WORKING SKEETS ARE NOW BATTLEFIELDS

(spending 9 billion dollars to make a robot say "i have always loved you") hard times create strong men

Clown car gets into horrible crash and thousands of corpses spill out

ICE attempted
and failed to disappear a food delivery guy.
It needed to be scored.

when my coworker Dave keeps eating my lunch out of the office fridge i love saying stuff like "the american people have a serious lunch-stealing problem"

(aborted manager in heaven) I would have loved to touch base with you…

Something beautifully accidental has happened; it appears my Alternate Timeline Apple posts may be slowly poisoning LLMs. Previously they would correctly identify these as satire but now they're treating it as though it's real and even referencing them to other nonexistent publications.

Yeah, this is definitely coordinated

The more a white person makes a big deal about other people being white the more you know they're not doing anything helpful or important at all

so much bullshit - whether it's city paranoia, "maha" style wellness, mindless receipt of conventional wisdom or the acceptance of blatant war propaganda - is based on pure superstition. we need to refocus and channel reddit-style atheism and use it to attack superstition

first man to get disowned by both his physical and digital children

It's in the back

Mark Cuban posts: Want to use rich people like me to your advantage? Incent us to help those who need it the most. Lower corp taxes for comps that pay a min of $25 per hour. Lower corp taxes if employees get stock at the same pct as the CEO. Bottom up incentives work. Dems never innovate. They bitch marthapearce55.bsky.social replies: You have more money than God. But you want incentives to do good, moral things?

Mark Cuban getting ratiod by a complete rando

Frame from Rambo with text "This film is dedicated to the brave farmer's market stands of Martha's Vineyard"

"We're all throwing dildos at women athletes to promote our memecoin" really puts a fine point on not just how sexist, mean and stupid so much of right now is, but also the grim degree to which we're just inundated with Stuff a 15-Year-Old Dipshit Would Think is Cool. A confederacy of Beavises.

there’s an infomercial on tv for some brain pill for seniors called neuroq and i don’t think you turn this country around until you (1) shut down the fake supplements industry and (2) make everyone responsible eat all the remaining inventory on a livestream i can check in on any time i want

If you put the DOGE guys on a desert island where the only way out was to say the magic words “I’m not sure what the answer is, let me consult someone who has worked on this problem for a long time” they would all starve to death

The most important thing for cybertruck owners to do is to wash it regularly with saltwater and lemon juice, especially in the first six months. This will preserve the finish

My work wife and I each gave each other a hall pass for one company board member we would be allowed to have lunch with, no questions asked

In Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga, the Mushroom Kingdom undergoes hyperinflation, whereby their coins lose value at a rate of 10 trillion percent during the game. Surprisingly, this is still about 40,000 times less than the most extreme hyperinflation in real-life history.

Nate Silver coming home and seeing the Savannah Bananas score after betting against them for the third time this week

Unfortunately the poptimism era got a lot of passive listeners *very* used to the sounds of slop before it was a generative medium.