Its a perfect day for an assasination. Come on someone. Please
16.02.2026 16:02 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 1 π 0
He'll have to try one of the other places in chinatown
16.02.2026 15:52 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
Remember when there were all those murder clowns across america? *checks notes* no I mean actual like circus clowns not ice.
16.02.2026 04:13 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
Dunno but I bet his piss stinks
16.02.2026 03:51 β π 3 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
It aint working
16.02.2026 03:47 β π 7 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
The chinese restaurant he was looking for in the song, Lee ho fooks, closed down in 2008. Hes never gonna find it now.
16.02.2026 03:46 β π 3 π 0 π¬ 1 π 0
Its truly mind blowing the amount of absolute shit on the internet
16.02.2026 02:32 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
Everyones always saying you gotta punch Nazis,this kid listened. The world needs more like him
15.02.2026 04:10 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
This is a test to see if youre human or a computer. Ai cant tell you what a bus is. Yet driverless cars are a thing!
15.02.2026 04:07 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
Murple meowface and miss Gilly having a picnic at the eiffle tower. (Photoshopped not ai)
Murple went on his date
14.02.2026 19:17 β π 2 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0
Im over 3000 hours on my current playthrough of fallout 4.
14.02.2026 03:12 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 1 π 0
George stood on my shoulder.
2 years ago today I lost my boy. Ive been through a lot in my 42 years, but nothing has cut as deep as losing George.
13.02.2026 22:49 β π 6 π 0 π¬ 3 π 0
Ok Ill bite, I have no clue who Bad Bunny is.
13.02.2026 03:17 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
Chuck is terrifying if youre worried about people throwing things..
13.02.2026 03:08 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
Is Brad pitt really that short?
12.02.2026 03:27 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
Sydney sweeney is the lovechild of sydney prescott from scream and sweeney todd the demon barber of fleet street. I assume, I have no idea
12.02.2026 03:22 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 1 π 0
Anthony Lapaglia and Bill Pullman would be well cast as brothers
12.02.2026 00:26 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
Oh shit
11.02.2026 23:41 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
What a fucking moron.
11.02.2026 23:35 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
With Bird lap dances
11.02.2026 11:24 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
Wait you hear about the president..
11.02.2026 11:22 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
Try explaining using quantum mechanics?
10.02.2026 19:44 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 1 π 0
Waiting in for a plumber to come and tell us that we dont have a leak. (Cause I fixed it myself a week ago rarher than getting the landlord involved cause theyre useless)
10.02.2026 12:21 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
I read that as hotdog toddy..
10.02.2026 09:30 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
The moon land battles will be interesting.
10.02.2026 09:27 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
No shit.
10.02.2026 03:42 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
Holy shit you Guys we got Drafts!
10.02.2026 02:20 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
Peewee murman (murple meowface dressed in a peewee suit)
Murple has a Date for Valentines day, I told him he needs to be the perfect gentleman, he thought for a bit and said whos more of a perfect gentleman than Peewee Herman?
09.02.2026 14:35 β π 4 π 3 π¬ 1 π 0
Enjoy, its just lovely.
09.02.2026 13:25 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
Who called it a urinal and not a Boylet
08.02.2026 12:48 β π 5 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
Oil paintings of my travels.π
Squint at βem- itβs what I do.
Purchase an original landscape painting here: Chrislongpainter.com
Autist. Hilarious wordnik. Minimalist software engineer. jan pi toki pona.
Here for jokes, not gender; they/them is fine.
Riffing is life. Incessant bangers: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:hg44mp5v7ovswnkpl3kfcggf/feed/aaabcgn65ghak
my meows: https://bsky.app/profile/greekheanen.bsky.social/search
Bi, white, cis, left, male, 40's, he/him.
Here to listen, learn, boost and defend those with less privilege.
Cheery, oft weary, rarely dreary, contentedly beery. Wpg Blue Bombers, Jets, LFC, YNWA. Bowie forever & ever. Amen.
You will know me by my charges: The Big Horse, Emma Darling, Rosie, Scout Finch and Gary Cooper. Third gen FDR Democrat. I'm a dog person without a dog. Fuck billionaires.
Bilingual writer. Artist. Cuenta en espaΓ±ol/inglΓ©s
www.tanyahuntington.com
πΆ Woof! I'm Reese , a Boston Terrier with a black belt in snuggles. My human, BRETT CULBERTβ you know, my actor papa who's on TV and all that? β thinks he's the star, but let's be real, I'm the real leading role here.
KHive, ASD mom, fascist-hater, cat ownee
please don't send me a message unless it's about plants
βHilariousβ β Eric Idle
βAmazingβ β Patton Oswalt
βAbsolutely killedβ β Rolling Stone (Carnegie Hall review)
Looming gigs:
Columbus, Feb 18
Ft Wayne, Feb 19-21
Toledo, Feb 22
Full schedule lovingly splayed out on www.emophilips.com/shows
Love cats and metal. Hate bigots, fascists, and abusers. He/him.
ACAB
Free Palestine π΅πΈ
A sanctuary of beauty in an ugly world.
βFix your hearts or die.β - Gordon Cole
This too shall pass / So raise your glass
To change and chance / And music is
the heart of love / Shall we dance?
- The Magnetic Fields
#writingprompts #microfiction
Hi! I'm an artist, illustrator, graphic designer, squirrel watcher, dog lover, and a van traveling nomad. Open to commissions, collaborations, or wholesale orders.
My art on tees, mugs, stickers, etc: https://meanderingannie.com
Squirrels & Sarcasm rule. I'll ride the wave where it takes me.
If I bleed you'll be the last to know. I'm not inclined to resign to maturity. Once in a while you can get shown the light
Somewhere near the edge of the deep green sea
GenX⦠Crafty Soot Sprite. Dog lady. Treasure hunter. Inexplicably hopeful. Lefty Lib. Standoffish AND overly familiar. Parasocial butterfly/imaginary friend.Team She/her.
Venmo: Jenny-Ostertag-1
βAinβt to proud to begβ
Whose Line, Whose Live, Smartest Man in the World, Greg Proops Film Club, Nightmare Before Christmas
Get Into My New Album Free State Of California
https://lnk.to/freestateofcalifornia
Here we are! Horror movies, gardening, nature, Helly R or Helena idk
I donβt have time for this. Gen Xer in Florida. Same username across the multiverse.
My journey thus far: Pittsburgh to Orlando to Honolulu to Chicago to Delray Beach.
99% of these are recycled tweets.
