Howl's moving castle is twerking

What happens when CaptainAmerica meets Indiana Jones?

Bone china? Wow, I’ve never been THAT horny.

This looks like tinkerbell threw up frooty pebbles

I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA

10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)

I'm never sure what to call out when I don't know his name.

Definitely not "labubu!"

Barenaked Men

I am seeking investors for my sex toy company called Choose the Bear.
First product will be the Bear. Quiet enough to use alone in the woods so you don't have to be

I can't remember what we did during commercial breaks before we made fun of the assholes in tardive dyskinesia commercials

Dying E.T. in a river from E.T. (1982)

AP Photo: President Trump catching some of summer's last rays in relaxing Camp David weekend.

honestly when someone murders me, that is the end of us being friends immediately sorry

Dragon Ball beam attack Battle between Goku and Vegeta with both beams labeled "praying for trump"

Everyone in the country is praying for Trump.

but different

Spouse is so frustrated with search results. All the options for "teenage mutany ninja turtle sex generator" are AI

The downy beads commercial makes way more sense with the tardive dyskinesia commercial

When you say 'robot dog' do you mean 'pig'?

ICE gets access to medicaid records so they can just decide and medical condition is a deportable offense

Listening to a song on repeat like 'oh yay! It's my song again!'

I didn't scroll past your video.

I closed the app. your video was the doom of my doom scrolling

“Okay, I’m ready for all this to stop,” I say, gesturing around at fucking everything.

I would watch the hell out of a show called: bi-women; 4 women

Spouse- I put you on my notifications.

Me- cool. I'm here now. I can't see your notifications.

I need Häagen-Dazs and Ben & Jerry's to get together to create reverse mint chip.

I want chocolate with mint chunks

First date idea: you go out with someone else and I chill at home.

That is possible
I don't know anything about access children in other countries have to nudity.
Or had because I'm mostly referencing pre-internet/modern access

You should get double the number of times I made pirate jokes when my spouse had bells palsy

People who use the term 'films' for movies or are really into indie films spent a lot of time trying to see naked people when they were 14

Does Disney+ actually work consistently if you pay full price?
Or do you just pay more for the bad experience

which one of you assholes cursed me to have a hot pillow