Domesticated Primate

Yeah… I do feel badly for her, however this feels like it was totally predictable and I cannot believe that anyone on her med team told her it was a good idea

What if Cheetos are actually the headless, legless bodies of some large insect and Frito-Lay employs a very high level illusionist that weaves a simple but very powerful spell that changes the appearance but not the flavor or texture of the insect.Would you want to know?
#seeofficalrulesfnordetails

I know there are more pressing things going on, but how the fuck is Lindsey Vonn competing in Olympic downhill skiing with a ruptured ACL? How?

And stop calling them federal agents. They’re fucking shocktroopers, for fucks sake

I initially read Harlan Williams. Which made this even funnier to me

Had to bear witness to the Buddhist monks Walk for Peace today

☮️✌️🕊️

Hold up a sec, so these kids think “bro” or “bruh”, a literal shortening of the word “brother” is gender neutral, but “dude” is masculine?

Serious winter storm on its way, all predictions point to a disaster level event across the southern US from Texas to South Carolina with potentially several inches of freezing rain.

Too bad Herr Drumph and DOGE took all the money from FEMA. This is going to be bad, people are going to die

I’m gonna keep reposting this until this shit gets made, for fuck’s sake

For my parents it was Stones or Beatles, for my cohort it’s Chili Peppers or Jane’s?

Obviously the correct answer is Jane’s.

#manywillenter
#fewwillwin
#seeofficalrulesfnordetails

In the parlance of my cohort saying that someone was “crashing out” or was going to “crash out” simply meant that they were exhausted and going to bed.

Super weird to me that it now seems to mean something exactly opposite that. What we would have called a “meltdown” or “spazing out”
Slang is weird

The exception that proves the rule

“Gourmet spreadable cheese” is an oxymoron

#manywillenter
#fewwillwin
#seeofficalrulesfnordetails

Remember: It takes 10 years to become an overnight success

Happy “Van Gogh mutilates himself to impress a prostitute” day to everyone regardless of whether you celebrate it or not, mütherföckers

When I saw this I immediately remembered “Heirs of the Perisphere” by Howard Waldrop. A sci-fi short story that has haunted my imagination since I first read it in the July 1985 Playboy. Wild

Booking agents at venues will straight up fucking ghost you during booking negotiations that they initiated.

Seriously, I am a fucking adult, I have been doing this shit for decades. Just say “no”, for fucks sake, ghosting a convo is juvenile, disrespectful, and fucking unprofessional

The timing on this skeet turns out to have been … accurate(?)

"phillip k dick, but stupid" describes everything now

You know it’s too bad that Larry Flynt isn’t still alive, because you just know he’d be offering 10’s of Millions of dollars for those pictures

#whatsalittleblowjobbetweenfriends

YouTube video by Animation Bakery So... just a "normal" hat then....

Sweet hats

youtube.com/shorts/QFVKa...

just made a deal that'll keep the Empire out of here forever.” -Tim Kaine probably 11/10/2026

More like for thirty 8 year olds. Amirite?

*thump thump* Is this thing on?

Useless, mealy-mouthed, spineless, corrupt fucking boomercrats

When my dog decides to sit at the front window and bark at random shit, I like to ask him:

“What do your pup eyes see, Dogolas?”

He never seems to get the reference. I, however, am endlessly amused by my own cleverness

It’s weird to me that in the US, conservatives are now pushing radical changes to government and liberals are trying to conserve government

Fucking bizarro world man

I’d like to thank the Portland Protest Frog Brigade for answering absurdity’s call

War is peace
Freedom is slavery
Ignorance is strength
“Stabilizing Argentina is America First”

Aw shit. Well, it was worth a shot

I could get so much more done if I didn’t have so much shit to do.