You are making me horny

Dr. Jane Goodall filmed an interview with Netflix in March 2025 that she understood would only be released after her death.

All the beauty and wonder of a flaming dumpster.

I may not be able to help you connect to the wifi but I can adjust the tracking on yer VCR

BREAKING: Comedians Compete For Bonesaw Signed By Jared Kushner at Riyadh Festival

Trump is basically farting and holding America’s head under the blanket.

Stupid people have taken over.
You can’t reason with them cos they’re stupid.
They make stupid decisions, based on stupid “facts”, supplied by other stupid people.
It’s stupidity all the way down.
: )

If there was an Olympic sport of making foam in the urinal, I would win, unless Derick wasn’t using his dialysis machine.

Kinda funny though.
The loudest, most confident, blow hard nation.
Yeah, kinda funny.

Eating salt.
Olympic challenge.
Why not?
Pussy!

suspicious of the unfamiliar garment

Using the Scooby Doo model, scientists were able to run all the way to the edge of the universe by being chased over an unchanging background until they finally saw through the illusion and just tore the mask off of everything we know

I have become weightless.
Destroyer of now.

My silver eyes do not blink for tears.

Allow me to express my disappointment through sarcasm as God intended.

They started seating the plane based on a skin colour chart. Only half the people who boarded got off the other end.
“Criminals” they told us, not sure where gramma is.

The Bible?
Data scraped mush!

You know what was Epic?
The Gilgamesh saga

Day drinking is the best.

Famous Dead People, on Ice

Shutdown: The Musical

I’m just lying here wandering how baby mountain goats don’t just like fall off the mountain, puff puff pass

A man, Bob Ross, painting a picture with Leatherface from the movie The Texas Chainsaw Massacre standing on a path

“Let’s put a happy little path here for our friend Leatherface.”

Cheese slice Ouija?
Rookie, to talk to the dead you need a cheese triangle, duh 🙄

Carrot, tarot, parrot, pick your card.
Ah, 3 of carrot, orange death holds sway.

Sorry for the dim lighting, I'm running out of goat blood for my chupacabra candelabra

ah another day at the piece of shit factory

It's weird how nobody ever talks about the fact that we all hear incredibly loud discordant high-tempo circus music in our heads at all times

For science day I made a glow in the dark Mary Curie doll.