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Marl

@marlebean.bsky.social

If you innocently act like you don't know, people will explain dirty words to you and it's hilarious. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7ehz6ygwahh2y3lgk7dq3xs2/feed/aaacgqxvtud72

11,581 Followers  |  1,570 Following  |  2,058 Posts  |  Joined: 01.06.2023  |  1.7612

Latest posts by marlebean.bsky.social on Bluesky

So flexible now

17.02.2026 03:09 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Or! The murder man borrowed your jacket 🤔🤔

17.02.2026 03:09 — 👍 5    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Just me at 3 AM staring into the dark trying to decide if that’s my jacket on the door or a headless man patiently waiting to take me out.

16.02.2026 18:20 — 👍 42    🔁 10    💬 1    📌 0

Need a W so bad I’m eating M&Ms upside down

16.02.2026 19:14 — 👍 300    🔁 84    💬 5    📌 1

Panic! Anywhere really

16.02.2026 22:17 — 👍 125    🔁 29    💬 1    📌 0

Does Aquaman get high on seaweed?

17.02.2026 00:58 — 👍 65    🔁 26    💬 3    📌 0

Blame it on the person next to you

17.02.2026 03:04 — 👍 3    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

Chili for dinner: No problem

Chili for dinner with a morning yoga class: PROBLEM

17.02.2026 02:32 — 👍 10    🔁 2    💬 4    📌 0

Saint Valentine was beheaded at the age of 42 but yeah, here are some overpriced roses sweetheart.

15.02.2026 01:17 — 👍 81    🔁 14    💬 0    📌 0

My buddy from New Mexico? I think you mean, my palbuquerque.

14.02.2026 20:20 — 👍 156    🔁 25    💬 3    📌 1

studying english is too boring im gonna fall into an oxford coma

14.02.2026 20:28 — 👍 34    🔁 8    💬 0    📌 0

can’t

giving my cats their Valentine’s pets

14.02.2026 20:28 — 👍 183    🔁 24    💬 0    📌 0
Post image

Happy Valentine’s Day! 🩷

14.02.2026 20:32 — 👍 39    🔁 5    💬 1    📌 1
Preview
a man in a military uniform is standing in front of a group of people and says `` right to jail '' . ALT: a man in a military uniform is standing in front of a group of people and says `` right to jail '' .
14.02.2026 20:33 — 👍 6    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

🤣🤣

14.02.2026 20:33 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

My husband is so predicable!
I know exactly what he'll get me for Valentine's Day ...

Nothing

14.02.2026 20:19 — 👍 26    🔁 7    💬 4    📌 0

I can outrun the Girl Scouts.

- me, holding 15 boxes of free cookies.

14.02.2026 18:12 — 👍 18    🔁 5    💬 1    📌 0

having conversations with my bag of valentines hearts like a magic 8 ball

14.02.2026 18:45 — 👍 39    🔁 15    💬 2    📌 0

This Valentine’s Day don’t just give her flowers and chocolate give her the CVS coupons that came with them too

14.02.2026 18:50 — 👍 53    🔁 12    💬 2    📌 0

If you don’t have to remind your husband that it’s Valentine’s Day every 20 minutes, are you even married?

14.02.2026 18:52 — 👍 4    🔁 1    💬 1    📌 0

Therapist stopped hitting on me long enough to tell me I’m a textbook narcissist.

14.02.2026 19:10 — 👍 78    🔁 25    💬 0    📌 0

what do you mean it's not healthy to get 100% of my self-worth from whether or not people like my posts

14.02.2026 19:17 — 👍 16    🔁 2    💬 1    📌 0

are people still skipping to my lou

14.02.2026 19:46 — 👍 35    🔁 13    💬 4    📌 0

Only one more day until half price chocolate day!

14.02.2026 20:04 — 👍 3    🔁 1    💬 0    📌 0

What A Terrible Night To Have A Curse, Charlie Brown

14.02.2026 20:11 — 👍 12    🔁 5    💬 0    📌 0

Yayyy

14.02.2026 20:15 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
Preview
an elderly man with a mustache is sitting in a living room . ALT: an elderly man with a mustache is sitting in a living room .
13.02.2026 20:53 — 👍 7    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

voted least likely to hit subscribe

13.02.2026 06:49 — 👍 61    🔁 22    💬 0    📌 0

If I told you once I told you a Brazilian times, stop waxing your asshole!

13.02.2026 12:00 — 👍 8    🔁 3    💬 1    📌 0

This chef at the brunch buffet is giving me the crêpes

13.02.2026 12:54 — 👍 26    🔁 10    💬 0    📌 0

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