George Mann

[TWO PINTS OF BEER are on a pub bar, one is PERONI and one is a brown Christmas-themed beer] 1 PERONI: Hello there CHRISTMAS BEER: Hello Peroni 2 PERONI: So nice to have someone new on the lineup! And you are…? 3 CHRISTMAS BEER: You know who I am, Peroni. 4 CHRISTMAS BEER: I am Brown Christmas Liquid. I come back each year. 5 CHRISTMAS BEER: Every time with a new name, and a new horrible ingredient. Last year I was Reindeer Stomper. This year I am... Cheeky Elf. 6 PERONI: Oh god You were on the bar for two months and… CHRISTMAS BEER: Three pints sold, aye. 7 CHRISTMAS BEER: I’m a seasonal blend of cinnamon, ginger, cloves, orange peel, nutmeg and this year, for reasons of late-capitalist sadism, vanilla. 8 CHRISTMAS BEER: My name is Cheeky Elf, I taste of jam, and I want to d*e. 9 PERONI: Well somebody’s trying you CHRISTMAS BEER: Poor bastard [A hand comes down to lift CHRISTMAS BEER to sip the pint] 10 [CHRISTMAS BEER being sipped, off-scene] 11 [CHRISTMAS BEER being sipped, off-scene] 12 [CHRISTMAS BEER gets put back on the bar ] PERSON [who just drank CHRISTMAS BEER]: Oh my god CHEEKY ELF: SEE? [Ends]

(*One of my favourite Nirvana songs)

2026 World Cup: Egyptian FA asks Fifa to cancel 'Pride Match' plans in Seattle The Egyptian Football Association says it has sent a formal letter to Fifa requesting that LGBTQ+

Egypt FA want ‘Pride Match’ cancelled

www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

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My free advice to this couple? Instead of paying £47k a year in school fees and scraping by, stick 15k a year in each kid's bank account so that they each have around £100k at age 18 to spend on a house, business or uni. You then have £17k/year leftover to spend on luxuries. Better life all round

2026 World Cup: 'Pride Match' to feature Egypt and Iran - where homosexuality is illegal A 2026 World Cup fixture designated by organisers as an LGBTQ+ 'Pride Match' will feature two countries where homosexuality is illegal.

World Cup 2026 designated ‘Pride Match’ will be between Egypt and Iran. 🌈

www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

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Top man @jacksurfleet.bsky.social will have the Sunday front pages this evening. Follow him to find out the latest #TomorrowsPapersToday

Thanks for following #TomorrowsPapersToday. Today we lost a legend of BBC local radio. A top man with no backward gear. God bless you David Monk. A good life lived

The Guardian: Ex-Dulwich pupil: Farage told me ‘that’s the way to Africa’ #TomorrowsPapersToday

Times Sport: Tuchel: This looks difficult #TomorrowsPapersToday

The Times: Labour ‘let women down’ #TomorrowsPapersToday

The Daily Telegraph: Streeting, Rayner and the pact
for No 10 #TomorrowsPapersToday

Telegraph Sport: McLaren poised to use team orders in title race #TomorrowsPapersToday

Express Sport: Last orders #TomorrowsPapersToday

Daily Mirror: One L of a draw #TomorrowsPapersToday

Mirror Sport: Tuch's magic balls #TomorrowsPapersToday

Daily Mail: DEMENTIA KILLS 1 IN 9. IT’S TIME TO END CRUEL INJUSTICES #TomorrowsPapersToday

Star Sport: Luck of the draw #TomorrowsPapersToday

Daily Star: Taking the peace #TomorrowsPapersToday

Financial Times: Netflix seals $83bn Warner Bros deal #TomorrowsPapersToday

Daily Express: HOUSE MARKET ‘FREEZE’ DUE TO
BUDGET #TomorrowsPapersToday

The Sun: That's Ghana be tough! #TomorrowsPapersToday

i: Wear face mask if you feel ill, public told, as hospitals and schools face record flu surge #TomorrowsPapersToday

Morning Star: BEEB URGED TO BOYCOTT EUROVISION #TomorrowsPapersToday

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Me again with the papers this evening. #TomorrowsPapersToday

Dave Monk was one of the great voices of local radio. Huge fun to work with, passionate about Essex, a great, journalist, presenter and entertainer who could do it all. Condolences to friends, family and everyone at BBC Essex

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Netherlands and Spain boycott Eurovision after Israel allowed to compete There had been calls for Israel to be excluded over the conduct of the war in Gaza.

Israel will be allowed to compete in next year's Eurovision Song Contest, a meeting of the participating broadcasters has decided.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Morning vicar....