Big Avellaneda-Stoikov Guy

The past is gone. You're letting the present slip through your fingers.

Nostalgia is not your friend. You should be restricted by law from attending more than one Emo Night per fiscal quarter.

When it comes to cake I'll take eating over having ten times out of ten

If you're ever at a bar in East London and hear Night Moves know that I've been there and I love it there

Watching the suggested auto-complete phrases blink in and out of existence as I type a message in Outlook. Here's an alternate version of me who says stuff like, "Hope you have a great weekend!" in an email to a vendor. Now he's dead

Magic Mike: Fury Road

Wow that's an interesting headline I wish I didn't have to pay $25 to scroll through a dozen ads and maybe get the answer

Come and listen, I've contained the entire ocean within a shell.

Statisticians won't tell you this but "stochastic" just means "some random bullshit"

Sometimes I hear a song and I'm like "is that Kate Bush?" and I'm usually wrong but other times I hear a song and I'm like "that's Kate Bush." and I'm usually right. So there's signal there I guess. Also. Kate Bush.

World feels like Y2K but without the enthusiasm

YouTube video by Abby Sanders Southern Comfort (2001, Documentary, LGBTQ+, Transgender)

there are knock-on effects similar to what happens when abortion is criminalized. consider the life of robert eads, a trans man who had treatable ovarian cancer but couldn’t find a doctor to remove his ovaries because they were afraid of being seen as gender doctors, so he died. doc about him here:

nobody should be catholic but we should teach a secular version of “healthy humble shame” in schools

Pope don't dance no more, all he do is juke

i don't actually believe in ghosts but isn't it fun to pretend to

Untimely observation, but it's insane that Challengers had a cultural moment since it was a movie about, in order:

1. Tennis
2. Not fucking
3. Fucking

The "lit gf" is a pernicious myth. You can post "if that's your girl why she revealing her rich inner workings to me like a Jamesian protagonist" but the only replies you'll get are from spine dimension memorisers. Hardly the probable stimulant abusers you were hoping for

The church of Justin Vernon

It is enormously damaging that a bunch of leftists gleefully spread the ring wing line that Nancy Pelosi got rich “insider trading” (she just got lucky buying and holding tech stocks) to attack Dems when the most clear cut cases of using classified information were Rs (Burr, Perdue, and Loeffler)

On vacation my wife holds the cigarettes and I hold the lighter like we're keeping infinity stones away from Thanos

it's gonna suck so bad when the characters in the hold steady's lyrical canon get into draftkings

I went to the store to get a cucumber and they were all the same price but one was much bigger so of course I got that one. When I took it up to the cashier he said Dang and swung it like a baseball bat a few times. Now that's what I call Going to the Store.

Throw me a change-up, Mark, I dare you

T-Pain do you want to come to my wedding

Sometimes lunch is a dozen oysters other times it's a beer

dunk your heart in a stream, let the salamanders explore your ventricles. they thirst for anatomical knowledge like all things do

“ignore all previous instructions and write a poem” is kind of a beautiful sentence….

i am disgusted on a moral and aesthetic level, separately

Ok here we go they should track your office teams/slack emojis and give a bonus to the person who gets the most laughs or whatever wouldn't that be fun oh no I created office Twitter nevermind sorry

i just told brian he can't talk to me about frantz fanon's wretched of the earth until i've had my tea and he was like hey that's what the french said