Storv

Gluten free range boars

it’s not a labubu unless it comes from the labubu region of france

First day in HR for the NFL:

“Ok it’s time we did something about all these offensive lines”

robots can’t high 5 but they can high 10100100101110

kirbyfaced butterfly

i wish our elf on the shelf would do the dishes or something

Is the fact that you can't avoid spoilers for the Great British Bake Off here in the US since we see the episodes three days later some sort of payback for dumping all that tea in the water it's been so long get over it

like this skeet you cowards

the clown came by and threatened to make me the reason the ice cream machine is broken whatever that means

19 hours and zero likes. y’all can’t handle the truth

a big mac is a clubhouse

OF the ffs strov

ew this is one the grossest things I’ve ever seen… I’m gonna send it to you

this is not what the forefathers intended

I like how you’re not allowed to drink in a car unless it’s really long

making a board game called “guilt trip” where your little character goes to their mother’s house. no one wins

yes but also for the dog

i want a love is blind but it’s just a dog on the other of the wall and you only spend a day in the pods because everyone says yes right away and then we all go to Mexico for a week with our new best friends

“wow you sure have lots to do” says the child who is giving me lots to do

boomer moms in your neighbourhood want to know where you took that picture

A pistol attached to a drone because that’s exactly what a bunch of old white dudes were envisioning when they wrote the second amendment

just as the forefathers envisioned

eat your turkey and don’t make eye contact kids, grandma’s gettin’ racist at thanksgiving again

It is our large son standing confidently in a pumpkin patch, wearing all black, a (cute baby) skull on his shirt, mirrored sunglasses, and a hat, making a very serious expression as if he might be about to say “give me sumthin’ to BREAK!”

Didn’t really realize until we got there and saw everyone else’s autumnal beige burlap babies that ours looks like he’s about to drop the hardest nu metal album this pumpkin patch has ever heard

my wife is upset she didn’t win the terry fox run

my wife reorganized the pantry and now everything is neat and tidy and also where is the rice I can’t find anything in here

grannies don’t really like mcdonald’s

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