@bountydog.bsky.social
Everyone’s “before” picture. My stuff: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:gi6tnq7utmjuvfx726jbxl4g/feed/aaalwf2tqjqum
According to the health app, my cortisol and adrenaline levels qualify me as an honorary Hulk.
19.11.2025 14:58 — 👍 12 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0A Charlie Brown Supervised Visitation (TV-G, 1979)
19.11.2025 03:34 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0THE INVENTOR OF BAD NEWS: what if you could be sitting down
14.11.2025 21:35 — 👍 279 🔁 78 💬 1 📌 1ME: i’m going to take a showper
WIFE: there’s no p in shower
ME: not yet there isn’t
Not only will we offer a 50-year mortgage, not only will we drop our credit score requirements, but we’ll even offer you this convenient mark on your forehead that will let you instantly request additional deferments!
13.11.2025 00:01 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Go out there and *take life by the reins!
*get those discount Reese’s pumpkins
Them: Hey, do you want to...
Me, interrupting: No
The funny thing about the invention of the wheel is the guy who invented it died penniless. It wasn't until much much later that pennies were invented
29.10.2025 21:10 — 👍 2641 🔁 401 💬 23 📌 9On Halloween this year, be sure to single out the sad kid that screwed up his costume and give him a rock like a responsible adult.
31.10.2025 19:11 — 👍 1 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0[interview with a vampire] where do you see yourself in 105 years
29.10.2025 16:28 — 👍 204 🔁 47 💬 1 📌 0“I could have made better choices.”
- Me, 2 minutes into the family dinner I agreed to host
[in the middle of receiving terrible news that will forever alter my life]
MY WASHER/DRYER: la! LA-la-la-la-LA! la! la-LALALAL! 🥰
Be sure to visit Aldi for all your favorite Halloween candy brands, like Butterknuckles, Rizzlers, and Tart Thatch Kids!
25.10.2025 15:56 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0🎵Did you stay sober…on the 21st niiight of October?🎵
22.10.2025 01:33 — 👍 1 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0Doing those workplace trainings the night they’re due, if you like a bad guy.
21.10.2025 02:49 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0"Who radicalized you?!"
"We Rate Dogs."
for the rest of the month I implore you: sign off all your emails with
kind regourds,
2 weeks from Halloween, and I still can’t decide between ghost or hobo as a last-minute costume.
16.10.2025 22:35 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0maybe the hamburger was the helper all along
13.10.2025 02:25 — 👍 40 🔁 16 💬 0 📌 0How’s that whole “starring Jared Leto” thing working out for y’all?
14.10.2025 02:42 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0@sharky.bsky.social Happy Birthday!!!
12.10.2025 22:28 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0[having 'the talk' with my teenage son] don't EVER call me bro
09.10.2025 16:56 — 👍 123 🔁 34 💬 2 📌 0A horror movie, but it’s just me looking at the price of chicken wings in 2025
11.10.2025 14:26 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0One time I saw a bald guy shoplifting so I called him 'Lex Looter' lol and then he stopped, gave me a high five and stole my wallet.
16.04.2025 10:19 — 👍 306 🔁 78 💬 9 📌 1Rob! Rob, it’s Marvin! Your cousin, Marvin Zombie!
10.10.2025 02:10 — 👍 489 🔁 90 💬 10 📌 3more mayors should be cheeseburgers
24.05.2024 18:25 — 👍 674 🔁 148 💬 1 📌 3It’s fall, mid-October, and it feels amazing.
That’s it. Carry on.
[abruptly stops playing my air banjo] Oh the intervention is for ME?
05.10.2025 20:09 — 👍 316 🔁 91 💬 5 📌 1WALTER LANTZ: what should i name my cartoon bird
ANIMATOR: boner bonedick
WALTER LANTZ: what no
ANIMATOR: stiffy stiffwang
WALTER LANTZ: absolutely not
ANIMATOR: woody woodpecker
WALTER LANTZ: i love it
[giving treats to dog]
thank you for not being people
