yeah no for sure

i agree, we can right this wrong with one little paul skenes trade over the winter

"...and so i'll be meeting with billy up here very shortly. billy is our mole inside the costello gang, tremendous mole. very nasty people he's dealing with. he's got some new information on costello, some stuff you wouldn't believe. and so we'll have a big announcement on that in the near future."

the president fell through the white house roof but he got stuck halfway. it's like winnie the pooh but vertical. they're bringing him mcdonalds while they wait for a crane

crying laughing

At 4p ET/1p PT, I’ll have a one of a kind interview with Chicago Mayor Harold Washington. He died of a heart attack in 1987. But his constituents have created an animatronic version of their mayor for a powerful message on cardiovascular health - see you soon on Substack and later on YouTube.

as long as we're bastardizing the wizard of oz:

i proposed to my wife through a game of three card monte

i already got my tickets for BACKDRAFT

well the cubs are getting jameson taillon back in august which is basically like trading for a sta-- [i'm immediately struck with a poisonous blowdart]

what if instead of john mulaney becoming america's favorite wise-cracking millenial chicago catholic school product, i did

jed hoyer has two more hours before he gets run out of chicago like lyle lanley in north haverbrook

we got two

jed hoyer is at orangetheory fitness wrigleyville with an "appear offline" teams status

entertainment 720 runs the social security administration now

thought i saw reese mcguire at whole foods but it was a middle aged man

i've seen so many people at the gym lately working out with weighted vests. have you considered just getting fat

this air looks like shit! chicago's air quality is no longer "hot"

well the cubs are getting jameson taillon back in august which is basically like trading for a sta-- [i'm immediately struck with a poisonous blowdart]

promise?

One of those Skarsgard brothers from Succession saying "I need a pain sponge"

craig counsell telling chris flexen to start warming up

when i think of sandberg i think of you

cubs vibes are in the toilet right now

according to baseball reference this is the first time that an all-star doubled his career pitches in one inning

sydney sweeney is a modern day siren who lures people to crash into online rocks with dumb fucking takes

it's a good thing the white sox don't know the infield fly rule or how to execute a rundown otherwise that could have been an embarrassing series L

i broke my thumb playing third base in sixteen inch softball, hit a go-ahead home run the next inning and did the kirk gibson fist pump around the bases

ughhhhhhhhhhh i was loaded and ready

white sox are smacking shota around early. fortunately here comes the highest paid player in the history of the franchise to snuff out the rally