tottenham hotspur is trying to kill me

if law enforcement officers burst into your home guns blazing without any cause you better pray they are local police (potentially millions in damages available) and not feds (tough shit, deal with it)

Screenshot of a Guardian article "Spurs plan to rip up wage structure and invest in squad if club avoid relegation"

i plan to stop eating like shit if i don't get diabetes

ellis burks is absolutely a BSB

yeah i work for the FBI

Flying with the
Boys
Incessantly

guys will literally argue over who was or was not a proper "blake street bomber" instead of go to therapy

for the third straight olympics my father-in-law won gold in the "unproductive text message exchange" event

if donald trump - who reads so well and has read everything there is to read about tariffs, and then some - got this one wrong, that is very concerning. what chance do we have?

(press corps clamoring)
DONALD TRUMP (pointing):yeah go ahead

REPORTER: mr president you're clearly upset but is also this the wettest you've ever been?

TRUMP: i'm extremely dry actually. i had 22 nobel prize winners in my office, they all told me "sir, youre the driest president we've ever seen"

"according to the court the president can ban all imports from china but cannot not tariff them $1" yeah you fuckin simpleton, why is that hard to understand? what "economic emergency" would warrant a $1 tariff

nice balls

a woman wearing headphones and looking at her phone Alt: a woman wearing headphones and looking at her phone, scrolling briskly

"justice gorsuch, concurring"

i'd give up a toe to never read another email again. not the big toe but certainly one of the little loser ones

Screenshot of the "no, just candy" scene from the Simpsons

america has been in decline ever since blake griffin jumped "over" that kia

i didn't watch the slam dunk contest and i haven't seen a single thing about it all day. officially juiceless

jessie buckely in HAMNET might be the greatest performance by an actor i've ever seen, holy shit

A distraught Tony Soprano asking "how could this happen?"

when jewels sausage is BOGO but they're sold out of hot italian

A card with Jack Torrance on the front with the quote "darling... light of my life..."

The perfect Valentine's Day card doesn't exi-

hands down

POV you are about to lose at Guess Who

everyone at this show will be over 40, i could see all of us trying to beat the traffic on a thursday night

i want to go to the jimmy eat world bleed american tour but i would like to request that they don't play all the songs in order, so the show doesn't peak after 18 minutes. that album takes off like a fucking rocket

Jim Carrey in the "how come I didn't get a gun" scene from Dumb and Dumber

corey lewandowski when he sees kash patel's cool gun

here's my "age verification," when i was fourteen they wouldn't let me purchase life and times of s. carter at best buy without an adult so i had to go to circuit city

bsky.app/profile/eric...

debí abusar más niñas
en islas
con jeffrey

in the last scene of the film there is a rat scurrying across the balcony. why would such a posh apartment with skyline views have a rat infestation? especially in the home of someone as successful as detective sullivan

circumstances have once again impelled me to make clear that the "drake" getting being dragged across the internet is unrelated to the university and does not reflect negatively at all on its alumni

See, this is what happens when we normalize the idea of Boston. We get commericals like that Dunkin' thing.

We need to remind people that it is not okay to Boston.

give me the ferments
and free my soul
I’m only eatin yogurt
at the super bowl
I’m RFK