superastrofemme

If you don't like mushrooms, can you explain why. Exactly the real reason why.

I’ll check your laundry’s pockets for Kleenex baby

It was actually pretty fucking sexy ngl

Three times 😂😂😂

One pumpkin spice cold brew later and I'm in the hole again

Let's be clear here, I won nine dollars 😂

Just a queso girl in a guacamole world

Is it even a date unless you need to call roadside assistance twice?

Did people really memorize phone numbers before cell phones, or is that just a movie thing? 2? Questions I was watching some old shows from the 90s and noticed people would just dial numbers from memory - like they'd call their friends or family without looking anything up. Made me wonder if that was actually normal back then? Did people genuinely have all their important numbers memorized, or did most folks keep a little address book or written list nearby?

If anyone needs me I will be in the museum, lying down next to the bog bodies.

If I really like you I’ll let you feel the dent in my head

My hero 🥰

we build a wall of pancakes around the ones we love the most

*powdered sugar poofing from my mouth* i don’t know who ate your donuts

My Goog history is filled with such embarrassing gems like "cool mom sneakers 2025" and "Orville Peck" and "Six ways to make grilled cheese article"

AKA "Mike's Hard Dimetapp"

My girlfriend and I saw your vintage headboard across the storage locker and we really like its vibe *wink wink

Did you know a woman yelling CHEESY TOTS!? is one sign the woman you're with wants cheesy tots?

You should never eat a potato in anger

the number of times I look in the mirror and go “holy shit have I looked like this all day?” is alarming

If cats don’t want to be held like babies then why baby sized

Remember when things were funny haha instead of funny wtf

Happy birthday! 🥳🥳🥳

Just an all caps girl in a no caps world

My 50 year old hands are going to take that as a compliment 😂

I reference The Matrix a lot for someone who’s never actually seen The Matrix.

eating mashed potatoes with butter, heavy cream, fresh mozzarella, olive oil and balsamic vinegar because I've been lifting (the weight of my mother's expectations)

Brutalism in the streets, Art Nouveau in the sheets

Insert one (1) taco joke here

My mom would only take one Tylenol at a time, which explains why I’m not good at anything but have a slight fear of polyester