J. Roach

I might use this line at thanksgiving.

Coherence is such a good movie - follow the trend and go watch it. It’s worth it.

I know things are terrible, but this moment requires your energy and boundless hope to help when the moment calls for it -- both of those things come from compassion for yourself, as much as you can manage right now.

Guard your heart and mind, and be ready for a neighbor in need.

Change one letter, ruin a candy.

surely we’ve done shittles already

converting to linux in my downtime (as I search for a job in a sector that's barely clinging to life and rapidly abandoning its integrity) sounds like a welcome distraction and morally good decision actually

I’m gonna be angry at you for wanting higher wages

I’m gonna be angry at you for being on food stamps

I’m gonna be angry at you for working full time and being on food stamps

I’m gonna be angry at you for trying to get me to connect the dots to the actual problem

eat them unpickled

become strong, fearless man

there's no soul behind those eyes

pro tip: if you’re gonna leave the sink running while half asleep, make sure it drains well

just a lil tippy tip for you there

for no reason

don’t try to blame it on ghosts either, your husband is smarter than that

I'm running a rubber band orphanage

just telling the world I took my first dose of prescribed adhd meds at 38 years old and you’re all in big, big trouble now

god kept me down for a reason

I’ve been training in 100x gravity

I am overpowered

I’m gonna take her for a spin first, gonna read and learn things until I throw up

I carry a lil photo of president spaghetti around in my pocket

(just in case)

A cat curled up under the covers.

She’s cold :(

And apparently prefers me to her bougie enormous heating pad with adjustable settings 💕

someone at the daily show heard my request

🫂 from a stranger who gets it

I need someone with enough rage and time on their hands to compile every instance of mike johnson saying "I don't know anything about that"

At this point, if you're interviewing a Republican about the president's latest transgression and you *don't* have the video or post or whatever cued up and ready to show them when they pretend they haven't seen it yet -- I'm just going to assume you're in on the con yourself.

Imagine being so hated that every time there’s a protest against you, it breaks the record for largest single-day protest of all time, which was held by the last protest against you.

Imagine sucking that much.

Portugal has your back America!

My painting COASTAL EXPLORERS

breathtaking - thank you

a little surprising to me that the NY Young Republicans scandal isn't at least trending on here

they saw the mario party parties

we must sacrifice the inflatable flies to the righteous plague of inflatable frogs

the debt must be paid

Nope.

Congrats to everyone else who found something good in it.

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world,... I feel like I can't take it. And my heart is just going to cave in.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Split the difference I always say

There was a shooting near my house today in Grand Blanc Michigan. Nurses on strike from the nearby hospital left their strike to go help victims. Please share and also let the hospital know how much they are appreciated!

"the room is intentionally small" and "the mansion is a container for transformation" are lines ripped straight from Saw