Polly

This is the most alcohol I've drunk all year 🍷🍷🍷🍷 it is cold and dark, why do people inflict dry January on themselves?

My dress rehearsal is until March, because February barely counts as a month when you think about it

Really been digging this social experiment where they decided to let the worst living person imaginable be president and go about his life completely consequence-free no matter what he does & says, but I reckon you guys have enough data now

You know the giant giant ones? I don't know what they are called. Colossal buttons? Anyway, those are my reason for living today

Almond butter, raspberries, chia seeds (on a good day), or just absolutely loads of brown sugar (on a better day)

Is it not 'Nights in White Satin'?? Or is it really about medieval soldiers in lingerie?

Oysters, Requiem for a Dream, My Humps (and every single other black eyed peas song)

I remember someone - I think Rhik Samadder? - once tweeted about "mince pie-rridge", where you mix mincemeat with the oats and some grated apple, and then crumble shortbread biscuits on top and serve with whipped cream.

I would also like to nominate British people who talk about 'drugstore make up'

His little badger sniffs 🥰

I bought Twitter for $44,000,000,000 and sold it back to myself for $33,000,000,000. I have 43 kids and no friends. Everything I make explodes

Why has nobody said Hamilton? Is Hamilton cringey?

"Forty-two years ago, for reasons beyond my comprehension, David Lynch plucked me out of obscurity to star in his first and last big budget movie. He clearly saw something in me that even I didn’t recognize. I owe my entire career, and life really, to his vision. What I saw in him was an enigmatic and intuitive man with a creative ocean bursting forth inside of him. He was in touch with something the rest of us wish we could get to. Our friendship blossomed on Blue Velvet and then Twin Peaks and I always found him to be the most authentically alive person I’d ever met. David was in tune with the universe and his own imagination on a level that seemed to be the best version of human. He was not interested in answers because he understood that questions are the drive that make us who we are. They are our breath. While the world has lost a remarkable artist, I’ve lost a dear friend who imagined a future for me and allowed me to travel in worlds I could never have conceived on my own. I can see him now, standing up to greet me in his backyard, with a warm smile and big hug and that Great Plains honk of a voice. We’d talk coffee, the joy of the unexpected, the beauty of the world, and laugh. His love for me and mine for him came out of the cosmic fate of two people who saw the best things about themselves in each other. I will miss him more than the limits of my language can tell and my heart can bear. My world is that much fuller because I knew him and that much emptier now that he’s gone. David, I remain forever changed, and forever your Kale. Thank you for everything."

was mostly keeping it together until I read Kyle MacLachlan's tribute to David Lynch

The visionary David Lynch is gone. There are no words. Rest in peace to an absolute original.

I would v much like a photo of this please, so I can daydream that I am a Burmese cat asleep on a heated blanket

Toby Young becoming a Lord has reminded me of this incredible exchange

The SANTA PLEASE STOP HERE signs really annoy me. Guys, he’s done the list, he’s packed the gear. This is a guy who lives and breathes logistics. Too late for this bullshit

SIMPLY HAVING A

Metro review of Funny Girl – close-up on pullout quote, which reads: Sheridan Smith’s Fanny brims with self-belief

Happy ninth anniversary of the opening night of Funny Girl at the Menier Chocolate Factory in south London, a production which gave rise to one of the best pull quotes ever seen by human eyes

We're no longer the wet bandits, we're the sticky bandits!

My version of ‘Whamageddon’ is to listen to Last Xmas EVERY DAY of December because it’s a banger that makes me feel Christmassy and nostalgic and George Michael was a brilliant pop song writer and all round decent bloke.

Thank you!!!! ❤️

Would you mind saying what lipstick you are wearing here? I'm looking for a nice wearable darker red and this colour looks lovely!

Prawn cocktail