ethan

Currently listening to Dancing is Depressing by Attic Abasement, as one does

It'd be so sick if I could buy non-grocery things I need locally without having to drive to the suburbs/outskirts of town to do it.

Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly

I am the perfect height for my belt loops to get caught on door strike plates. Don't worry though! It only happens when I'm overstimulated or in a hurry to go somewhere.

they are the testers!

The coolest Congresswoman there’s ever been.

NTA - the bug ticket should have this info already

Glasses where one eye is shaped like a circle and one eye is shaped like a square

Specifically these glasses

He absolutely looks like a guy who should wear statement glasses and subscribe to the Green brothers' sock club

On 13 September 2023, Perry participated in a debate with Anna Khachiyan against Grimes and Sarah Haider. The debate, referred to as "a clash of the female titans", was held at The Theatre at Ace Hotel in Los Angeles and was moderated by Bari Weiss.

This paragraph from her Wikipedia page makes me want to throw up

Yes that is an exact dream I have too. I show up to the exam and the prof is like "who are you?"

Over 10 years since graduating college and I'm still having so many nightmares about failing classes that they're starting to have continuity.

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.

1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.

2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

HEY! - me when I see someone isn't hiding their love away

me (bursting open my apartment window like ebenezer scrooge): you there, boy! did it happen?

boy (gloomily): no sir

The NYT reports that Air Force One has turned around due to a situation officials are describing as “creature on the wing”

"3D printing" is such a funny thing to call a hobby. Could you imagine someone saying their hobby is "table sawing"? "Yeah man I've been really in to hammer drilling lately. How have things been in the microwaving community?"

Ordered a weed cartridge and they accidentally gave me 2

advertisements should not be allowed to have audio. theyve abused the privilege of sound

No I don't know how to fucken dougie. I don't know what any of this shit is and I'm fucking scared.

I am just now remembering I absolutely used to check out collected Dilbert books from my elementary school library when I was 12. How is this such a common phenomenon?

Every week is overwhelming evidence of what we saw with our own eyes, but which our credulous media was afraid to print: the Nazi salute was a Nazi salute

ICE agent mid-air as he slips on ice and about to fall on his ass, nearly parallel to the ground. Two photographers enjoy the moment.

The Vincent D'Onofrio pig post: Pigs can't look up. But I could pick a pig up one night and raise it into the sky and tilt this pig ever so gentle. I can make sure this pigs eyes line up with the stars. Imagine seeing the stars 4the first time.I want 2b treated that kindly and see the stars for the first time.

Saw an ad on TikTok that was literally just a naked woman on all fours, booty hole in the air. So apparently no one at TikTok screens these things.

(stepping out of the shadows with a switchblade) is this your switchblade? i found it in the shadows

It's called Survivor 'ship bias bc couples always get voted off first

Hobbies include commenting "Liv Agar" on Liv Agar's TikToks

This year my favourite food was "try to log something and then close the app because of the full-screen unskippable ad for Royal Match popped up again"

my hope for 2026 is they start closing their mouths in YouTube thumbnails