Daniel Carlson

How can we get one of these for @jasondashbailey.com

LYSISTRATA (Aristophanes, 411 BC)

Kristi Noem

Somehow also Kristi Noem

Just heard somebody describe Kristi Noem as "a real-life Ship of Theseus" and just about fell out of my chair

Granted, I’m at the airport, but the utter indignity of having to order a drink off a fucking app while literally looking at a physical bartender. Just a miserable world we’ve built.

I want to do a 🧵 about the Sidney Sweeney thing, because it's *extremely* revealing & educational.

First, to be clear: I could not give less of a shit about the details -- the ad, the rhetoric, the jeans, her boobs, whatever. Good lord, who cares.

Let's look at the *structure* of the episode.

Carriage horse collapses, dies in NYC's Hell's Kitchen Video from the scene shows the horse on the ground as workers dragged the dead animal into a trailer.

These should be illegal nationwide. A barbaric, trashy, outdated custom. Genuinely insane that they still exist in 2025.

Disney's ROBIN HOOD from the 70s, when Robin Hood and Maid Marian were foxes with strange but equally powerful sexual magnetism; the kind of shit you'd never get to make today because it would be stuffed with winky jokes for parents referencing pop culture, instead of being what it should be, which is about animal freedom fighters who fuck; this was always one of my favorite animated Disney movies from when I was real little, and my mom said I would sit and watch the whole thing and then rewind the tape and watch it again; one time I was fidgeting with buttons on the VCR (hello, undiagnosed autism and ADHD) and accidentally taped *over* part of the movie with what was on channel 3 at the time, which was an episode of JEOPARDY!, so a small clip of the final battle cut away to Final Jeopardy before switching back to the movie; this is another of those memories whose circumstances feel all but impossible to describe to a young person today

Says a lot about my current emotional state that I came across this and got a little choked up

Patient, sobbing: But Doctor, I AM Pagliacci!
ChatGPT: Apologies. I didn't realise when recommending Pagliacci's epic show to cure your depression that you were the genius himself. I'm impressed! With regards to your initial question, I can recommend seeing the Great Clown Pagliacci.

The day he dies, I am buying the biggest goddamn American flag I can find and flying it 50 feet high for an entire year

You know that song used in viral videos that sounds like a Minion singing “du, ba-du ba-du ba-du, ba-du-ba-du” etc.—who made that? Can we kill them?

DEEP COVER is so good. Look how movies used to look

The high note Michael Ball hits on “despair” in “Red and Black”?

I count it even though they’re cheating: they ask a yes-no question, then tack on the corresponding no-yes question. So they’re *double bastards*

This is the version that our family listened to most often

His 2-minute appearance in QUIZ SHOW had such an impact on me as a young viewer. It’s not just a cameo; it’s genuinely a great scene. His performance hints at the larger world of corruption that Morrow will never comprehend. “The public has a very short memory. But corporations? They never forget.”

Ice Cube. It’s insane to think how much of his initial public persona was based on power and aggression. This is like seeing a beaten man.

The Pontiac Aztek, a car for people who have never seen other people

I didn't realize until now that Ice Cube's WAR OF THE WORLDS is one of those "everything takes place on a computer screen in chat and video windows" movies; I would like to stand and offer a somber and respectful salute to the filmmakers who actually found a way to make the worst idea possible

Adding this one to the collection

Millennial dreams:

My real answer: STARTER FOR 10 (2006), which is where I first saw:
- James McAvoy
- Benedict Cumberbatch
- Rebecca Hall
- Alice Eve
- Dominic Cooper

It was immediately apparent that they would be famous very soon

When I was a kid I could run around all day in the summer and survive on three (3) unevenly spaced hose gulps. Now just the walk from my door to my car has me dabbing my brow like I’m second chair in the Scopes Monkey Trial

LONGLEGS (2024, dir. Osgood Perkins)

Meanwhile, his final girlfriend has not yet been born

- Liam Neeson in KRULL
- Jack Black in AIRBORNE
- Michael B. Jordan and Idris Elba in THE WIRE

Think of how dumb you have to be to lose an argument with an AI bot

Here's the real problem:
- this doesn't benefit anyone but the AI company paying for the coverage
- there are many, many living victims of school shootings (the US loves school shootings); maybe interview one of them?
- this is one more thing for people to point to when asked why they distrust news