Cromerty

Following Prince Andrew’s titles being removed, Prince Edward becomes the Duke Of York. Basically, it all shifts up one. For instance, I’m now my next door neighbour, Pauline Cathcart.

I'm pretty sure that when I dream of a famous person, they're dreaming of me, but they wake up thinking "well that was a weird-ass dream of knitting dogs out of spaghetti with a random faceless person"

a man in a suit is making a funny face . ALT: a man in a suit is making a funny face .

A little bit better than when they say "the secret ingredient is....'love'"

irresponsibly posting my location on social media

Adverts should be representative of traditional British families

Bet Fergie jumps straight to the top of that council house list 😡

#girlsowncc

You know "The Artist Who Can't Draw Hands".... Now meet "The Artist Who Can't Draw ohmyword"

*silently judging your baps*

Exactly

OK, going to have trouble paying rent again this month due to back injury.

Would appreciate so much the spreading of my online shop to get some cool orders sent out next week.
All signed.

davidziggygreene.bigcartel.com

I loved Nursie so much

Sometimes I really wish I could draw a horse from memory

I don't think I've ever known a character more unappealing than Riker at his most sexy

Just hoping, for my puppy's sake it's going to rain between now and November 6th

"Hi, I seem to have mislaid the right-hand side of my wall"

Who wore it better

Reading up about that reprobate Andrew, and finding out there’s actually a Duke of Manchester

Oh the grand old Duke of York
Wasn't

Too hot #Yorkraces

Too old to “like” any TikTok with single word flashing subbies

What I really REALLY dislike is seeing English actors putting on a German accent for fillums, when there are plenty of German actors who can do it much better. It's like a banana sweet tastes like a banana, but not like an actual banana

There’s someone eating an egg mcmuff next to me in the train very VERY slowly. I want to barf

This guy is officially a chonkster (1kg overweight) according to the vet and has drops for his chlamydi-ear

Blerp

Woken at 3 by the sound of a small cat up chucking a massive furball. Happy birthday me

When I sing, I don’t do much “hit the right notes”, but more “pummel them into submission”

I'm going down to That There London later on this week. What are some interesting places to see/stuff to do, which tourists don't tend to do (I'm looking for "Oh look, there's a gas lamp" sort of thing) #London #LondonLife #LondonNotATourist

I love how you catch the eye of a wildflower, and it flings a bit of history at you

No your ladyship the little lad misheard me, I said Bucket.

#GirlsOwnCC