imdependence day

have been assuming this whole time that dril is a woman and it's only just occurred to me it might not be

Waluigi Mangione is a doctor who revived a CEO after a heart attack.

god I've just remembered One Day, that was a lot

Hello, Jon. This is Spotify headquarters. Although this presentation is typically automatically generated, we find these circumstances so extraordinary that we felt the need to reach out to you with a personal message. We have found that while you did listen to rap music this year, you listened to country music as well. This is a music listening pattern of such rare precedent that we were compelled to disconnect our servers, lest our algorithm crash them entirely upon attempting to categorize your tastes. You are the most interesting person we have ever encountered, and we wish the incurious blockheads who make up the remainder of our subscriber base shared not only your adventurous spirit, but fearless authenticity. We have your banking information on file. As a token of our appreciation, $5,000,000 USD will be deposited into your account immediately. Thank you for everything, Jon.

oh wow

Massive away win for the little fella.

The dentist is the only place where I can fulfill my fetish of having someone's entire hand in my mouth while I watch Love It Or List It

One time I went to the dentist and he said "I actually just realized I follow you on Twitter!" and I was like oh neat that's fun and then later I realized that the last thing I'd tweeted was this

pronouncing luddites like crudités

Good man yourself Oedipus, how’re ye keeping these days, tell me now, do y’still have the

Death of the Spider Woman Becomes Her

mentally well but the better help adverts do threaten that

*walking my wife down the aisle toward her father during the divorce proceedings*

mum nights out are absolutely feral because the opportunities are few and far between and someone always has a bag of something leftover from Glastonbury

post a non-religious photo you think of as holy

before i grew out my limbs i’d spend hours slithering in the grass scaring beautiful women

oh wow my timeline is serving me Final Fantasy content, reminding me that I was waiting so long for the FFVII remake that I had a kid and thus surrendered all my disposable income and time

whenever I do connections really quickly I never think nice one well done me, I think wow it must have been really easy today

anyway the only things I post about are musicals and singing, parenting, netball, Mike Faist, and the youtube recap videos which soothe me

my best parenting hack is to upsell chores as special missions. which is how I got enthusiastic agreement to go to the launderette after school. because agent, we need to get rid of the worm germs..

Wikipedia chapters Background Legacy LGBT significance Trombone solo

How I introduce myself on all the new platforms

YouTube video by ScreamFactoryTV Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987) - Clip: Garbage Day (HD)

he responded with Garbage Day!
youtu.be/78sWq2JCauU?...

YouTube video by Random Videos How's Trish? #hollyoaks

really excellent cultural exchange at work today. I introduced my colleague to the cinematic masterpiece How's Trish? 1/2
youtu.be/ml6NMXDfSeo?...

A fake PEOPLE magazine showing that they chose Fox Robin Hood as the sexiest man alive

Holy shit they did it

just thinking about how fuckin haaaaard the original X-Men theme goes

existential crisis at the soft play bc I know all the words to all disney songs but I'm not a disney adult and it predates me being a parent

recently described myself as extremely online in a cover letter and I truly don't believe anyone reading it understood the term