Cheese Fucker

(when your head bone, like C-negative 3, cracks) that’s good for it

I was already vibing with him when I knew he did arts & crafts on his bullets. Now I find out he like McDonald’s too? My brother!

Taking a big wet gay shit

Getting completely naked to shit in the Kohls public restroom

We’re Costco guys of course we yearn for a warriors death

I too would pardon my own son if he was cool as fuck. Can’t blame the guy

texting the garbage man with a few pics of our trash can, getting him all riled up

Day 3 of Thanksgiving leftovers is so chaotic. Gloves just all the way off. Absolute debauchery going on.

I just wrapped some macaroni and cheese & collard greens in some turkey skin and ate it like a taco.

Need someone to take my penis in their mouth and swish it around

Tom Cruise does his own stunts because he wants to die

Smoking hookah is gayer than having gay sex

Have you seen the package on the cloaked stranger? Be more thankful next time!

I be in the pussy saying all types of things like "wow" and "thanks this is really great"

Frame #3200 from S06 -E18 - Battle Matsutake-629301

Some of yall need the mallet

they’re attaching me to the wheel of fortune tomorrow…

I’d like to believe so too ❤️

wanna feel old? step into my large device

*laying in a crumpled heap, bleeding profusely

Yes, this is, in fact, my first rodeo. Why do you ask?

friend: so what have you been up to lately
me [unable to make eye contact]: apps

Crazy that all those Renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles

the American Christmas song canon consists of:

- Jesus was born
- Christmas is nice
- I'm kind of sad at Christmas
- I'm kind of horny at Christmas

and then also

- This Grinch guy is a real piece of shit

glad i’m not a dude id always have intrusive thoughts tellin me to squish my balls until they pop

I imagine he feels pretty indifferent about the whole thing.

Flat brim hat, Osiris shoes, Cubic Zirconia cubes in my ears. Oh yeah, daddies getting laid tonight