Katie Didn’t

As a big-footed human (not to be confused with Bigfoot), I am also extremely jealous.

who up defying their generational curse

if only we could get paid handsomely for having feelings

*crosses Velcro shoes into an X to feel wild again*

Nice empire of dirt, dude. It would be a shame if I could have it all

THE INVENTOR OF NEWS: okay, don’t be mad but HEY I SAID DON’T BE MAD OKAY YOU’RE MAD I GET IT BUT

What's your secret to being online all the time without contracting computer madness? For me it's being pure of heart

*edits resumé to remove the traits “Always Available”, “Knows What To Say”, and “Keeps Emotions Out of the Workplace”*

It’s been a few difficult decades working as a Hold-It-Togetherer, but I’ve really found a new, wild freedom accepting a job as the Fall-Aparterer.

Please be patient while I fly off this handle.

Call me on my landmine.

imagine hating me and I’m just over here perfecting my brownie recipe for you

I kinda feel like we should be getting new renditions of "we didn't start the fire" way more often than we do now.

I know this was 8 days ago, but my good vibes, hugs and whateverthefuck transcend time and space. I hope the bad time in the head lessens a little every day, with more spots of joy. xo 💜

Things just fall off of me throughout the day. Insects, red pepper flakes, change. But never my will to attract. Or magnets.

Me and the homies are gonna bequeath ancient amulets upon each other later if you wanna come through

*about to have sex*

"BUT FIRST, A RIDDLE"

What's stage of dystopia is it when they criminalise helping the poor?

looking up into the night sky forgetting where we were

My favorite color is 90s Taco Bell booth purple.

🥹💜

I used to think I could change the world and now I’m proud of myself for changing my sheets

i want people to be happy but i also want people to write sad songs.

I think it’s important to remember that “the village idiot” isn’t necessarily that village’s ONLY idiot, he’s just the most famous one

Me: God, I suck
dog: no ur awesome
Me: I'm just the worst
dog: no ur the best
Me: I hate myself
dog: [puts head in my lap] good thing I love u enough for both of us

“Someday I’ll show my teen a video they haven’t already seen before,” I whisper into my morning coffee.

I like to tell people I'm "battling my demons." It sounds so much cooler than sitting around knowing why I suck and wondering why that doesn't fix it

A striped cat appears to be “yelling” at a kitten with the exact same coloring. The kitten’s eyes are wide open and their ears pinned back.

you just know somebody’s being called by their full name right now

Not Rafael on the sax- that’s too sexy 😂