Stilldan

I saw a kick me sign on the back of a car that said everything out of context is just everything to me, and that was how I got kicked back into the car I used to use for going out, taping myself to something

A notepad on the workbench with pieces of a spirograph set and take one of a framed gift which will be centered appropriately on the next go.

Gifts come in many forms.

On November 28, 1942, my grandmother’s sister was stood up just before a double date and refused to be a third wheel, so my nana canceled their plans to go to the Coconut Grove nightclub, all Final Destination style.

It's always the ones you forget whom you will remember the most. I said whom this one time, it left a little scar on how close I am to losing all my thoroughfare cred

I actually played with him in high school and he never once made it through warmups without going all psycho. It wasn’t our fault, he always kept his face in front of where Mom keeps the peanut butter.

I'm not really a praying man but I pray Jason Voorhees eventually finds the rest of his goalie gear

*sitting next to you on the bus, looks over.

"I just noticed it. You know when that backbeat started up?"

A workbench with basswood shavings, carvings knives, sandpaper and a #2 Ticondaroga next to a WIP letter m and a mostly finished swirlymagig.

Ornament factory

Knocked a couple pieces of maple together while bringing in firewood and before I knew it a family of bigfoots had brought a casserole. “We’re going to need that dish back,” they said, "it's vintage CorningWare."

Saying farewell to the last wisdom teeth of my loins by cheffing up some SpaghettiOs with sliced hot dogs like it’s 1987.

Introducing two spammers to each other.

Bringing out a minuscule meal in the break room to appear larger and more intimidating to my coworkers

Night shot of the full beaver moon above a towering white pine in an apparent blue sky with wispy clouds.

Bluesky at night

If You Give a Mouse a Sorting Project

I'm only clever now if I have a minute and internet access.

Yawn and stretch adorably out for some attention from passersby, cuddling your own claws up in each hand to show that this is no trick, just a little love request. I get muted a lot too but I'm an opossum

Horror films with the plants. They haven't exactly strangled with tendrils the psyche of the modern trellis goer but I won't stop thinking of them like was I even raised on growing? "No more coffee for the both of us" laughs flytrap

Look, I compost and recycle and try to avoid eating piping plovers but I draw the line when it comes to the aerosolized assurance that only my Aqua Net hairspray can provide

i’m gonna dance while doing the dishes about it

*elevator repairman enters the chat.

One time I called whale sounds 'Depth Metal' and now I'm banned from every meditation group in my town.

A navy blue T-shirt with the word HOCKEY in bold print as a nod to Animal House with Alumni Game 2004 on left sleeve.

Twenty years ago, I ordered T-shirts for my high school’s alumni hockey game. I gave away about 70 of the 100 on game day to the players and fans. Years later, my kids found the leftovers and gave away all but three, so now I wander New England playing a version of Where’s Waldo of my own design.

Let them not feel the hunger to eat cake.

I may finally put my hat in the ring to run on the Fuck Ticks platform.

It’s almost one o’clock again.

Just booked a fishing charter for me and the boys in the eastern Pacific because I found an unbeatable deal through this company called Bad Idea Jeans.

A short marble doric column rises a foot from a pile of gold coins. Upon it rest two chains. One very thin delicate gold, and the other very delicate sliver.

At the edge of the stone reads some old words in a forgotten language. "You may only choose one."

Anklet of glimmering.
Anklet of shadow.

hold on my old dog is stuck in a corner again

Where were you when you first lost the plot to Pirates of the Caribbean? I was standing at the counter watching the concessionaire pump chemical butter into my big bucket of buttered popcorn. “Don’t stop,” I remember telling him, a look of disbelief on his face.

I love a cranky bakery owner. Your cupcakes are so sweet and your demeanor so sour