fart :3

spookillumi @illumi.meme • 1m The Onion be like "this job is based in Chicago". Idk guys I think it'd be pretty based no matter where I did it. Rogs Pumpkin @stev.bsky.social• 2m If kids love one thing I know it's pizzas

finally finished bluesky

DOCTOR: we found drugs in your system

ME: is there anything you can do

DOCTOR: no you did them all

your ignorance to the large (?) beautiful world of micropenis pornstars is appaling

I'm the guy who steps on the back of your shoe on purpose. You convinced yourself that i don't exist. "It was probably just an accident." It's not. I do it on purpose

A taco eating contest? At Quark’s? On Taco Tuesday??? EVERYONE STAND ASIDE I am going to DOMINATE this—wups slipping on the sour creamAHHG MY BACK SLIDING TOWARDS THE GUACAMOLE FOUNTAIN AIIIEEEE NO NOT THE LOOP DE LOOP OF FIRE SALSA AHHHG MY SHOULDER

i know that the months leading up to the lexus december to remember sales event are an exciting time for many of you. it used to be for me, but most dealerships won't let me attend services because i named my kid toyotathon. they won't even let me wield the sceptre. i just thought it was a cool name

this is the jacket's breast pocket lining pulled up to make it look like a pocket square

🎵haammmmms
touching hammms
reaching out
touching meat
touching fooodddddddd

i just think with all the negativity flying around these days that the petition should be to change his name to Good Bunny

Dante's seven factors of authentication

another date night ruined because i ordered "unsweetened macaroni and cheese"

listens to your valid arguments but at 1.5x

The Portland frog backing down an army of jackboots

When your custom character appears in a cut scene

Imagine you're at a writers' retreat with the lads and you're all showing off a draft after dinner and then your mate's girlfriend goes here is the novel Frankenstein which I just wrote

Terror Comes in Threes: Three (2002) and Three… Extremes (2004) on Blu-ray The J-horror boom reached the States with the import (and subsequent remakes) of Hideo Nakata’s Ring (1998) and Takashi Shimizu’s The Grudge (2002), the latter of which has a somewhat confusing produc...

Terror comes in threes as I explore J-horror and the confusing release history of THREE (2002) and THREE... EXTREMES (2004) over at Signal Horizon.

my daughter’s friends’ sister’s girlfriends’ cousin made $3,000,000 from investing in peloton & im just over here hoping that all the apostrophe’s in this post are correct oh goddammit

Declared a thumb war on my buddy a few days ago and didn't hear back. Assumed he was busy. Woke up this morning with bandages where my thumbs should be

Unfollowed for poor grammar. That’ll learn ‘em.

excuse me but there was nothing in the wedding invitation about “no capes”

me slowly boiling to death: this pond is mad warm.. (texting my frog buddies) you gotta check out this sick pond

oedipus: do u have to keep saying that

samuel l jackson: saying what

Fart so hard you turn inside out

[abruptly stops playing my air banjo] Oh the intervention is for ME?

Kenny Harris (American Artist, born 1974)
"Moka With Venetian Red And Blue", 2023.
Oil on Panel, 51 × 41 cm.
Private Collection.
#art #painting #painters #BlueSkyAr

Hate to burst your bubble, but…I’m kidding I love it. Fuck your bubble

brutal lol

I ended up on swifty TikTok and the comments are absolutely killing me. "9th grade slam poetry", [a photo of boiled chicken], "album for cop wives", "If Taylor wrote this that's bad, if ChatGPT wrote this that's worse, and if Travis wrote this I'm actually kind of proud of him".

YouTube video by Good Mythical Morning Don’t Pick The Nasty Food (Game)

Watch us eat more gross stuff on the latest Good Mythical Weekend! youtu.be/kpBegKCcyQM?...

Journalist Plestia Alaqad Is Publishing Her Diaries From Gaza: "A Dystopian World" "Every time I read it, I just feel disbelief — is this real? Did I really live that? Are there still thousands of people in Gaza living that?”

Plestia Alaqad Is Publishing Her Diaries From Gaza: "A Dystopian World" bit.ly/4pZQZr6

super interesting blind spot and also a bit funny to see chat gpt trying to rationalize its own failure but i would like to argue the point that nobody over 4 has lost a game of tic tac toe (NOT speaking from experience. i have NEVER lost a game. but THEORETICALLY)