sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı

JFC. Who turned the Batshit Signal on?

Reported for being AWESOME 🎊 😆

I want to be a beautiful as the girl in the painting. You know the one. The naked chick riding a clam shell

Stupid posts incoming

She’s the worrrrst 😂

YOU’RE reported, and YOU’RE reported, and YOU’RE reported. You’re ALLLLLLL reported.

if the worm you paid for falls off the hook do you get a rebait

If you’re seeing this post, it’s a sign from the Universe to do that thing you’ve been avoiding: Seeing this post.

Paint me like one of your melting watches.

Imagine a cobra out in the wild, starving and pissed, then he hears a flute and goes, "Damn, that’s my jam!"

What if Banksy painted on the Wonderwall?

I am not afraid of dead people, I am afraid of living ones.

I am a full-time procrastinator.

Share a TV series from the 1960s you love

Imagine hating me and I’m just sitting here trying to come up with an original riff on the “imagine hating me” jokes and failing miserably.

A man bent over with his head out of view inside a dumpster that's in an alley between buildings.

Searching through my Gallery for that perfect sacrilegious image from 2018 that I wanted to use today.

Ruin Christmas for giant corporations by making 26 December the new Black Friday this year.

Jupiter's volcanic moon Io may be hundreds of times hotter than scientists thought Jupiter's volcanic moon Io may be hundreds of times hotter than scientists thought

Scientists came to this conclusion after NASA's Juno spacecraft captured images of Io taking off its dowdy glasses and shaking out its thick, lustrous hair.

You can take my breath away, but please give my nose back

leaving a trail of stock options to lead senate dems onto the ice floe and then sending them out to sea

One of the ways to tell that a glass is clean is that it never crosses your mind that there might still be some blood in it

Oh crap this whole time I thought when I hit that square-ish icon it said “Report” now I’m going to have to go back and redo everything.

The newlyweds next-door are really bad at arguing. They both just keep shouting “YES”

Monday, the Monday of Mondays.

I never met a racehorse with a normal name, like Jeff, or Trevor

You know how when you uncover enough universal truths you reach a free personal one, I just got a realizations on off switch

I've just invented a new product that's like bubble wrap but each bubble contains a tiny portion of french onion soup. There is no market for this product and it's very difficult to manufacture. My business model is "buy it or I'll attack you"

Mamdani is going to implement Sha Na Na law. All must dress like they’re from the 1950s.

On weekends I like to choose a destination and use maps to get me there, then challenge myself to find my way home tuning into only the low hum coming from the great stone underneath my house

ALL I WANT IS TO BE LOVED, YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNTS.