Humayoun Mirza

My two moods:
1. "Hehe"
2. "Not hehe"

"Where do you see yourself in 500 years?"

- the real "Interview With The Vampire"

ME: time to sleep

BRAIN: what if you were in a bathroom stall and a giraffe walked in

Lick the crushed pills, take the shot to the heart, suck the hand that feeds you

Don’t worry if other people don’t like you. All that matters is that you don’t like you

HER: what’s on your mind?

ME: scalp mostly.

I’ve been in front of the computer too long. Time to take a break and look at my phone.

You're at Guns.

I need you at Roses.

I don't believe in arguments. I'm right, and they're just saying things.

Bin Laden: “Death to America!”

Trump: “Death to half of America!”

How can we be soulmates if you don’t repost my stupid jokes?

here it’s not doomscrolling it’s a cringe binge

deep in my heart of hearts i was shocked to find out i had so many hearts

take some vitamin D you sun deficient piece of shit

I'm not here to make friends I'm here to learn karate

It’s okay to not be okay, because things are fucking far from okay.

If tears didn’t squirt out, it‘s okay to use lol.

i didn’t get a high five at the gallows, got left hanging

911? Yes, he’s doing it again

funnel cake should be called a spaghetti donut

Stupid things love to grow in my brain.

Reply guy just blocked me for replying to his reply to my protein on salad nonsense and man I don’t miss the 4th grade

👌🏻🫡

While everyone gives you tension, let me be the one giving you attention.

i used to have a handle on life but then i finished it

sorry if I'm a little grumpy I woke up on the wrong side of history

Am I the only person who gets sleepy after tea or coffee, or does this happen to anyone else?

Reminder; Drink water.

Do+not = don't
Won't ÷ wo not?
I hate divide 😭

If you don’t feel better. Atleast post better. 😭