The TinCan Android

look buddy, I’m a shark, and sharks have to keep moving. you think I have time to stop and love my wife long enough to compose an endearing message? you think I have more social skills than a computer program with the reading comprehension of a deranged butternut squash? you need to catch up friend.

look buddy, I’m a shark, and sharks have to keep moving. you think I have time to stop and love my wife long enough to compose an endearing message? you think I have more social skills than a computer program with the reading comprehension of a deranged butternut squash? you need to catch up friend.

hey Geronimo can you love my family for me, but not too much, I don’t want their expectations to get too high

mom said it’s my turn with the good controller

my sister is using chatgpt to organize our overnight schedule with my mom and I know that’s like one of the most innocuous things it could be used for but I fuckin hate it

after not seeing her for nearly 3 years, one of the first things my mom said to me is that I “look more like Stanley Tucci than Billy Crystal”

I think we’re ok

A screenshot of a google shopping link for electronic elderly care alert accessories. The text reads: Wireless Elderly Call Button Pager Watch, Black at... $35.09 $39 Until Times Up Discount code 5a Get it by 8/19

what a comforting name for an elderly care accessory company

A screenshot of a google shopping link for electronic elderly care alert accessories. The text reads: Wireless Elderly Call Button Pager Watch, Black at... $35.09 $39 Until Times Up Discount code 5a Get it by 8/19

what a comforting name for an elderly care accessory company

they get the entire back yard rent free

very vegetal

@bsky.app @bsky.support

it’s a real tragedy that you can’t read video alt text without accessibility apps

it’s a real tragedy that you can’t read video alt text without accessibility apps

you need to subscribe to the Starz add on package if you wanna poop

👋👋👋

forming symbiotic relationships

y’all wanna see a bunch of ants cleaning my toes?

grab my go bag cause it looks like an adventure is afoot!

playing with a mute aka running at a full sprint before i can barely crawl

A sign with two small dogs over the name Stella & Chewy’s with the words “raw your dog”

you want me to what?

he’s not just a reply guy, he’s the guy who replied

do you think goatse would laugh at this if he were still alive?

sweet or whipping?

let me know when you’re sure it’s urgent

a totally prolapsed fig still on the branch. little dude is just straight blown out, pink ribbled flesh spilling out. such a provocative image amongst the sleepy foliage of the fig tree

I should call her

nun lingerie

cigarettes for birds

he’s not just a reply guy, he’s the guy who replied