Doris Daydreams

The relationship between me and B&M bargains is nobody else's business

Woke up this morning to find my tits have dramatically dropped a couple of inches -OVERNIGHT. At this rate, I'll be tripping over my nipples by the weekend.

It's funny how Brits living abroad like to be labelled as 'ex-pats' rather than immigrants. Granted, I've only been to a handful of airports, but I don't recall seeing signposts for 'Ex-Pats' in Spanish airports, I did see 'Immigration', though...

I need an emotional support Canadian

Good thinking, batman

We must protect this woman at all costs

Bras can get in the bin

Same

I'm a big advocate for not getting involved in anything that requires wearing 'outside' clothes.

Thinking of creating a DM room for all the men talking to themselves in women's DMs so that they're not lonely.

I just want someone to love me as much as this fella loves his wife.
#BlackMirror

I tell my son a story every night at bed time. After six years my imagination is running on empty. I just recounted The Count Of Monte Cristo in a five night saga. He loved it, thinks I am a storytelling legend.

a woman with blonde hair is wearing a black dress and smiling while standing with her hands behind her back . ALT: a woman with blonde hair is wearing a black dress and smiling while standing with her hands behind her back .

It is an affliction.

I crossed a French cockatiel with a Swiss cuckoo. The offspring is a quelleheuretil.

I'm way too mid to be this level of psychotic.

Dear America,

This is a crumpet. Serve toasted, with ridiculous amounts of butter (actual butter, not 'spread') and either jam or cream cheese.
Please refrain from calling them 'English muffins', we find this offensive in the extreme.

what’s the matter babe you’ve barely touched your genocidal capitalist imperialism

Of all the things I don't know how to do, shutting the fuck up is number one

A society's true character & moral standing are often best reflected in how it cares for and protects its most vulnerable members, including children, the elderly, the disabled, and those facing hardship.
How are we doing, United Kingdom?
#DisabilityBenefits #PIP #LabourParty

People who are struggling with disability, who did not previously have MH problems, will probably now have MH problems due to the unhinged changes to the disability benefits system that this government is trying to force.
#DisabilityBenefits #PIP #LabourParty

a woman is making a funny face and making a funny face . ALT: a woman is making a funny face and making a funny face .

I can only describe myself as feeling a little bit 'prickly' today, approach with caution...

The beach is the only place with salt that lowers your blood pressure

none of this is real. we’re all dead, right? we gotta be dead

Worked from 1996. Got so ill that in '24 I was terminated 'on grounds of ill health'. Complex Crohns disease, severe malnourishment, NG tube fed, constant abdominal pain, unable to walk, space cadet due to medications, double stoma, diabetic... Tell me, who will employ me?
#PIP #Disabilitybenefits

Hi, yes, this is my first rodeo.

*notepad and pen ready*

She is ADORABLE

Just a little reminder that the UK DOES in fact enjoy freedom of speech. However, if that speech is intended to incite criminality, then yeah, you will get pulled up on it.

a poster that says happy nightmares with a crow ALT: a poster that says happy nightmares with a crow

Might fuck around and piss off a crow

1 like = 1 entry into the book of inconsolable sorrows

1 repost = 1 plague to afflict your children and your children’s children and so on and so forth for one hundred hundred generations

a woman wearing overalls and a bandana is holding a piece of cloth . ALT: a woman wearing overalls and a bandana is holding a piece of cloth .

My way of showing love is by acts of service, like cooking, buying him something thoughtful, doing laundry, etc.
This is where I've been going wrong all of my life.
I'm NOT washing any more dirty underpants. Acts of service are now over. The laundry is shut.