Daminal

google is a ouija board when the person who answered the question is dead.

🥵😆

Sold!

Coming up with captions for pictures of my ass is more difficult than I had imagined

I'm a caption masster

I hope 2026 brings you peace and mind blowing orgasms.

If you don't know who Bill Withers is then it's only going to be a one night stand. I have standards

Well and bacon

I prefer to think of it as being efficient

I’ll just answer that email after this coffee, and other lies I’m telling myself this morning.

Remember to pick the lent out of your bush today

penis is short for penisaurus

Keep up the good work

im a daytime midweek bowling alley ten.

I’m the MacGyver of connecting dots seemingly out of nowhere

i see dead people’s dicks

*my dixth sense*

Peak efficiency

Same *checks available sick time*

Hot 🔥

😬😆

Hold up....is this real??

If by lewds, you mean me in my white castle t-shirt, then, yes, I have lewds.

🤣😆

😏😁

jockey:

owner: mind if i pay you under the stable

It's awfully drafty living in this house of cards.

a person is standing at a table with two cups of coffee on it . ALT: a person is standing at a table with two cups of coffee on it .

I got just the thing to help

You know I will 😏